January 27, 2021

Goodbye to my Twin, Hello to College

By Olivia Yates

Throughout my childhood, I always had the lingering feeling that I was only included because of my twin sister, Sydney. Everyone always says how special having a twin must be, as if we have unique superpowers. It’s true, we are practically identical copies of one another; we share everything down to the blood that flows through our veins. 

My whole life, Sydney and I have been a package deal. If you were friends with one Yates, you were friends with both. While this allowed me to have amazing friendships, I was never truly able to feel independent; I was never sure if these bonds were truly my own.  

 With that being said, our link is still the most meaningful connection I will ever have. Sydney is my best friend, confidant, and partner in crime all in one. From sharing birthday parties, to classes, and everything in between, we have rarely spent a moment apart. We assumed it would be the same in college – we never discussed parting ways. However, here we are, one in Ann Arbor, one in East Lansing. All of a sudden, my best friend became my rival.

 It started with “The Draft”: Sydney’s way of dividing up every clothing item in our joint closet. For the past eighteen years, what was mine was Sydneys. However, as silly as it sounds, the dreaded process of dividing our clothes was one of my first steps in becoming my independent self. I began to recognize that detaching from my sister could, in fact, be liberating. This would be my first chance to experience life without her by my side. I would no longer have to worry about her liking my friends, or not wanting to try the chai tea latte my roommate and I were hooked on. Early on, I realized that the people I met at U of M knew nothing about me. I could do what I wanted and when I wanted to do it. I had a fresh start.

 Starting college, alone for the first time, was eye-opening. I met countless new people, had new experiences, and became a new person. I realized that I did not need my twin by my side to help me succeed. I proved to myself that I am strong and self-sufficient, while still being a supportive sister and twin. 

 I am a strong believer that the bonds between siblings can never be broken. No matter how much time you’ll spend apart, they will always be there for you. They’ll be your support system, your best friend, and your teammate, regardless of whether you are together, or apart. My final step in my path to independence was coming home and introducing Sydney to my new life. We both had new friends, stories, and memories, and realized that growing apart actually brought us closer together.

Independence, for me, means being confident in my choices and having control over my life, while still sharing those moments with the people I love, especially Sydney. Whether you have a twin or not, leaving home and heading to college for the first time is a major step towards personal growth and individuality. This semester I felt more empowered than I ever have. Even though I was without my parents, without my childhood friends, and without my sister, I learned that being independent does not mean being alone.