November 26, 2021

I sometimes compare myself to a house plant. By that, I mean all I really need to be happy is water, care, and sunlight. Without those three, I feel lazy, hopeless, and lonely. 

This may be because I often equate happiness with sunshine, the beach, ice cream, and barbecues. But where does that happiness go when the long, summer days fade away? Does it fade away too? 

For many, including myself, who struggle with any amount of seasonal depression, happy days can be a thing of the past once the cold winter months creep up on us. Seasonal depression is characterized as a disorder in climates where there is less sunlight at certain times of the year. Symptoms include fatigue, depression, hopelessness and social withdrawal. The common desire to curl up in bed and never leave can easily escalate into something more serious. It is important to pay attention to those warning signs. 

Fall is a tricky season for many. It is a time of transition from carefree summers to structured school days. The days get shorter and the weather gets colder. I find it difficult to find the beauty in grey, cloudy days occupied with homework when I would rather be relaxing on the beach reading with friends. I even think about fall music, for example, in comparison to summer music. Fall music is characterized as slow and somber, while summer music is upbeat and fast paced. The slowing down of life provides us with time to reflect and be alone with our thoughts. 

While I used to view all of these changes as negative, I took it upon myself to fall in love with fall. Walking through Ann Arbor, it has become impossible not to smile at the sight of the crisp orange leaves as people walk by bundled up and cozy holding warm cups of coffee. Romanticizing that visual has helped me immensely. 

Halloween and Thanksgiving have been two other motivating factors that allow me to transition into fall with ease. I focus on the positive aspects of both of these days. Halloween is a chance to dress up and take on a new persona while stuffing your face with candy after running through the streets watching innocent children trick or treat. Thanksgiving, the ultimate display of gratitude, is a day to express thanks for loved ones and for all the good in the life we live. 

Adopting a positive mentality has been a really grave struggle for me. There are personal reasons why I fear fall, ranging from an overall aversion to change to different negative events throughout my life that I associate with the fall months. However, as I grappled with the truth that seasonal depression is something that can be mitigated, I realized that in this life, my number one goal is to enjoy myself. If it means romanticizing the sweater weather, football season, apple pie, and pumpkin spice everything, then so be it. Those are the necessary steps I knew I had to take in order to keep myself content. If you repeatedly tell yourself that you enjoy these little things, no matter how small, you begin to believe it and truly do celebrate every single victory. 

Breaking bad habits and bad mentalities is an extremely difficult thing to do. With immense dedication and effort, though, it is possible. I am an example of this. The first cold day, I was miserable. I dreaded the cold months to come and could not find a single good attribute of fall. Doing the work to change that was strenuous and repetitive, but nonetheless worth it. I encourage anyone experiencing the same struggle to reach out and ask for help, I am sure someone you know is experiencing the same. After all, seasonal depression affects 10 million Americans. Remember that sometimes all you need is some positive reassurance. Prioritizing mental health is key, so keep in mind that if these feelings escalate, don’t hesitate to give 800-273-8255 a call. You are never alone.