November 17, 2021

I slammed my bedroom door shut with a bang that echoed through the whole house, flung my backpack to the ground, flopped face-down onto my bed, and became a mascara-down-the-face-ugly-kim-k-crying-face mess. It was a bad day. I spent about an hour in my sad spiral, queuing up Lana Del Rey and Phoebe Bridgers to keep my mood going. 

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of my gray journal, which lay long untouched on my desk. I had purchased it a few months before with the intention of journaling, but I had completely forgotten about its existence. Until now. Bleary-eyed with dry tears, I picked the journal from where it lay collecting dust, and I began to write.

The pen had a mind of its own, and I began frantically writing, without even thinking.  I was dumping everything that was swirling around in my head onto paper.  Before I knew it, I had written over six pages filled with thoughts, feelings, lists, and even drawings - enough to fill an Encyclopedia. And instantly, I felt better. Like a weight had been lifted.

So, I began to write in my journal every day.

There were no rules to my journaling - I just went where the contents of my head directed. From the good and inspiring to the dark and ugly - nothing was off limits. Some days my pages would be full of positive affirmations and things I was grateful for, others my worst and scariest thoughts. Some entries would reflect on past memories, and others would explore my goals and dreams for the future. There were often bad days where I picked up my journal and spewed hot fireballs of negativity onto the pages. After I vented like this, I would crumble up those pages (not even stopping to re-read what I just wrote), tear them into little pieces and then throw them in the trash. This way, my negative and bad thoughts are not available for me to look back and reflect on - they merely become waves that pass through me and are released on the pages, but are not stored there gaining power. After doing so, I often feel better and notice a shift in my mood. 

My gray journal is now full and I’m onto my second journal (it’s gray too.. shocker!). I’ve become more intentional - getting in the routine of starting or ending my day through the pages of my gray journal. I have found comfort in journaling, it has become a safe place where I can explore. There are no expectations confining me, and no judgements guiding me. I can truly express myself in the truest way possible. I have found that every time I write in my journal, I am releasing something, and it helps me feel better, be more creative, and most importantly opens up space in my often crowded mind.

So, I encourage you to grab that untouched notebook on your desk and begin to write. Whatever comes to mind and without judgement I promise you it’s so therapeutic and along the way you will learn about yourself and become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams.

Journal Prompts to Get You Started:

• Appreciate: 

  • Ten things you’re grateful for 

  • Favorite things about yourself

  • People in your life you appreciate and why 

  • 10 positive affirmations (and repeat them daily!)

• Reminisce: 

  • Top ten favorite moments this year 

  • People in your life you’re grateful for 

  • How have you changed in the past year? Two years? Five years?

• Reflect: 

  • How did you feel today? This week? This month?

  • Who is a person you give your power to? 

  • Draw your day cartoon-style 

  • Are there areas of your life you can take better care of yourself in? If so, how?

  • What fears are currently holding you back