20 Second of Bravery
March 25, 2024
Writer: Margot Barrera
Editor: Chloe Cardello
In the year 2023, my motto for the year was “Embarrassment is a choice.” Though my intentions are there behind the phrase, and I agree mostly that embarrassment is an emotion you choose to tap into, the motto could use some revamping. Despite my mental efforts to live a life less self-consciously, I still felt embarrassed fairly regularly – both due to instances warranting embarrassment and my frequent habit of overanalyzing and criticizing my actions after the moment had passed. Usually, what keeps me from doing something or putting myself out there is the fear of embarrassment and what others will think of me. Though my 2023 motto might not have been as productive as my journey to caring less about what others think of me, 2024 has brought about a changed mindset, growth, and a new strategy: 20 Seconds of Bravery.
The premise of this plan is simple. Anything you’re scared to do or start, remind yourself that it only takes 20 seconds of bravery to actually do it. Twenty seconds and you’re in. Think about all the pivotal questions you never asked out of nervousness as to how the other person would react. All the connections you missed out on because anxiety prohibited you from introducing yourself. I think most people would agree that starting something is the scariest part of embarking on any new experience. Good thing it only takes 20 seconds to open the door and walk into a meeting of people you don’t know, to hit ‘send’ on that risky text, to send that like on Hinge.
In my own experience, years of holding myself back socially out of fear of others’ perceptions has been both limiting and isolating. I’ve never considered myself to be introverted, though I grew up being told I was. I crave social connection and new experiences, yet have refrained from engaging in such opportunities in the past, settling in insecurity and anxiety. Though I’ve been reminding myself for years that “people don’t think about you as much as you think they do” and “if it won’t matter in ____ number of weeks, months, years, then it doesn’t matter,” I never have quite been able to get over that hump of self-consciousness. Until I began forcing myself to put myself out there on the basis of the fact that I only have to summon up 20 seconds of bravery. I once had a coach tell me – though in the context of holding planks or pushing through a sprint – that you can do anything for two minutes. If I can do anything for two minutes, then 20 seconds is nothing.
It’s been a journey my friends and I have embarked on together. Anytime one of us begins to hesitate, we’ll call out, “20 seconds of bravery!” reminding ourselves that nothing is as deep or scary as it seems. Though I wish I could report drastic life changes and all problems solved because of this adopted mantra, to do so would not be realistic. Yet, I have noticed positive and subtle changes, both in the way I approach new situations and as a result of putting myself out there. I’ve stopped dreading the club meetings where I know no one and instead take it as an opportunity to know more about members. I’ve become substantially more comfortable with doing things by myself. I’ve gotten better at advocating for myself and asking the questions that I’ve been avoiding. I’ve found a sense of thrill in taking little leaps of faith when it comes to putting myself out there. Though maybe not every instance is a success, rejection doesn’t seem to dig as deep as it once did.
These are small milestones, and while they may seem like they were effortful to come by, in reality, they only took a few short 20-second-long moments of bravery.
