The Homeostasis of Love
March 11, 2024
Writer: Eve Collon
Editor: Talya Appelbaum
Love is a drug. It tightly grips our minds, sometimes to the point of blinding us. It can inflict pain, both physical and mental, and it comes with a price.
When love decides to depart from us, it leaves us bewildered. I found myself struggling to understand why certain aspects of my life, which once brought me so much warmth, couldn’t last forever. It wasn't until I recognized the homeostatic nature of love that I began to solve this puzzle.
I view love as a balance. When one aspect of it leaves us, another is bound to enter, and replace the hole that was created. The pain we experience from a loss can seem indefinite. Nonetheless, this pain is slowly balanced by fresh, delightful encounters. Any loss is bound to take time to heal. But the art of healing is made possible by the homeostasis of love.
Equilibrium comes from balancing the positives and negatives. The positive emotion of compassion is potent, exhilarating, even addictive. However, the negative emotion of loss is daunting, invasive, and distressing. If every experience were solely delightful, we wouldn’t have the capacity to appreciate life's simple pleasures. Losses we endure prompt us to find gratitude in the mundane. Without honoring the love we lose, how can we fully embrace new love when it enters our lives?
Love, I believe, is often misunderstood and underestimated. It took me nineteen years to realize that love doesn’t always resemble the bonds depicted in romantic comedies. Love is a multifaceted concept, existing in various forms, yet many fail to recognize it. Love is witnessing a sunset, experiencing small acts of kindness, or observing a baby's first steps. These manifestations of love drown out negative self-talk, our mistakes, and the losses we endure.
Learning to discern love, whether it's arriving or departing, enriches our perspective on life. Recognizing the extraordinary moments that warm our hearts allows us to cherish the time we have with certain individuals or places. Eventually, these people and places may fade away, but adopting a perspective of gratitude helps us realize how fortunate we are to have experienced their presence, making farewells profoundly challenging.
Love has a miraculous way of keeping itself balanced within every heart in which it resides. Love makes itself known at random intervals but carries meaning behind every swift movement it makes. Learn to give thanks to the love that dissipates from our worlds, because it is that love that makes it possible to enjoy what lies ahead of us.
