Forever and Always, A Teenage Girl
March 8, 2024
Writer: Margot Barrera
Editor: Lily Hutchinson
Dear Soon-to-be Twenty Year Old,
At the time of writing this, I have fifteen days left of being a teenage girl. And I’m having qualms about it. Though, quite honestly, I don’t usually look forward to my birthday as a proud member of the “girls who cry on their birthday” club, I’m dreading my twentieth birthday for a different reason. I’ve noticed the same amongst my other soon-to-be twenty-year-old friends. The reason being that turning twenty marks the end of calling myself a teenager.
As I near this dreaded date, I’m becoming increasingly worried that my love and enjoyment for being a girl is entangled with the fact that I’m a young girl. Social media seems to paint youth and femininity almost as one, and with an air of blamelessness. Though the prospect of young girls being helpless is likely backed by implicit misogynism that paints women in a light of naiveness with a hint of “she doesn’t know any better,” it’s admittedly (and only somewhat jokingly) something I’ve embraced.
“I made a mistake? No, I didn’t. I’m just a teenage girl!”
An unintended consequence of this attitude has become the fact that no longer being a teenage girl means I’m no longer without fault. The weight of my responsibilities feels heavier, and the pressure of preparing for a real and serious future is louder. It feels as though I’m nearing the end of careless frolicking when the sun’s out, irresponsibly choosing to go out knowing I have work due the next day, and blowing each paycheck on sugary lattes with select milk. I’m only now realizing how attached I’ve become to being a teenage girl and the significant role it plays in my identity. What will I rename my Snapchat private story, currently called “Just A Teenage Girl!”? The sudden fleetingness of my youth comparatively feels coupled with the fact that the future is so near, and I’m truthfully not mentally prepared for it.
I once read an article – the source of which I can’t remember or seem to find (can’t blame me, I’m still a teenage girl!) – that described how the pandemic slowed the mental and social development of the younger generations by an average of two years. Because of this, we feel two years younger than we are now and haven’t quite mentally acclimated to our ages. Perhaps this is why I can’t quite seem to wrap my head around the fact that I’m just shy of being twenty because according to my mind, I am eighteen. My twenties always felt so far away, and I thought by then, I’d know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Yet I haven’t figured out relationships, pinpointed an exact career goal, or at the very least, figured out how to keep my room consistently clean. How did my twenties go from feeling lightyears away to two weeks away?
Regardless of any lofty explanation an article can give, I realize I desperately need to change my mindset going into this new decade. Really, what is the difference between the ages of nineteen and twenty? I know that realistically when the clock hits midnight and my teenage years end, everything will continue as normal. The responsibilities I have today will be the same in two weeks. Yes, as I get older, those responsibilities will change and add on, but more responsibility doesn’t have to mean the end of all things silly and fun. Getting older doesn’t have to mean that life becomes boring and monotonous if I don’t want it to be, and I know that as I get older, my ideas of fun will also adjust. My twenties are terrifying, but there’s also something exciting about envisioning my college graduation, moving to a new city, and my first “grown-up” job, along with the fact that I might meet my future husband in this coming decade. I like to think there’s a reason so many rom-coms are based around being in your twenties. The feelings of anxiety and anticipation surrounding my twenties are not mutually exclusive, and being terrified about it doesn’t have to take up the space for feeling excited about it too.
This is me committing to embracing my twenties and signing off as a teenage girl.
Forever and Always,
A Teenage Girl
