She Would Be Proud
November 8, 2024
Writer: Miranda Jefferds
Editor: Lexie Meltzer
We are constantly encouraged to look to the future. Find your weekend plans. Apply for a high-level internship. Plan your entire career trajectory at age 19. The constant pressure to know all of our lives' answers quickly spirals into the mindset that we can never truly be doing enough. However, in competitive environments like college, it is completely vital to take a step back to see how far you’ve come instead of always just pushing forward. That’s not to say that staying on top of your commitments and proactively planning is bad - it isn't! It’s great to think about where your life is heading until suddenly it becomes all-consuming.
While scrolling on TikTok, I came across a trend that encapsulated the feeling of always thinking about the future. A series of photos showed a girl descending in age throughout her life, captioned with a specific worry from that point in time. For example, a picture of her on the first day of her PhD (“I’m scared for my first big girl job”), followed by a picture of her graduating high school self (“I’m worried I won’t find my place in college”), followed by a picture of her middle school self (“I’m so stressed about making friends in high school”), a picture of her elementary school self (“I’m anxious about becoming a middle-schooler”), and finally ending with her youngest self, whose caption reads “We are getting our PhD?” Each caption, save the latter, represented the worry that consumed that portion of her life; it was not the celebrations and accomplishments that occurred in those very same moments that defined her memory. The final slide ultimately shows how far she has come, exceeding the expectations and wildest dreams of her younger self. The trend simultaneously taught me two things: to overcome a preoccupation with the future so I could properly acknowledge and celebrate each deserving moment and to look to the past to see how far I’ve come.
Since internalizing these lessons, it’s become exponentially easier to enjoy life. Although I will always proactively think about my future, I don’t let it encompass my entire life. Anxiety surrounding the future is easily quenched by reminders that it will end up okay, the assignments will get done, and my worries will fade. I have been asked how I manage the different parts of my life while maintaining low anxiety levels and high happiness. My answer is this: spend time working through your uneasiness, rather than basking in it. Take it step by step, rationally, and make sure not to completely submit to your negative emotions.
It’s incredibly easy to lose yourself in the moments of your life. Find importance in a good laugh with your friends, a week without a lot of homework, and a call home to your parents. Place less emphasis on knowing exactly where you’re going, and appreciate where you are now. Looking back at how far you’ve come can alleviate that ever-nagging feeling of not being enough: imagine what you from two years ago would say if she knew you? Five years? Ten? I know she would be proud.
Image: Emma Wang
