Sticks and Stones
November 13, 2024
Writer: Alanna Madry
Editor: Carly Schneider
There’s one situation that is always guaranteed to make my skin crawl and my cheeks warm a rosy shade. Some may call this a “put your foot in your mouth” interaction, but that implies a recognition of making a mistake. The situation that really makes my heart ache, requires ignorance.
I can think of dozens of examples of language that are seamlessly and casually ingrained in our society despite their sensitive connotations. Connotations that seem to slip away in playful conversation. Whether it be referring to diseases, death, or disorders, the words we choose matter because the experiences of those around us matter.
I realize this may come off as overly sensitive, and I’d like to clarify that in no way do I pass judgment on anyone who has accidentally let a flippant comment change the dynamic of a conversation. I know I have made a remark or two without properly reading the audience first. However, watching my friend’s face after someone jokingly remarks they “want to die”, or my family members when someone says “that’s so gay”, or even when I hear someone say they are “so OCD” I know that what we say carries weight.
There is that elementary saying that I’m sure most, if not all, of you have heard. It goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” This phrase has been circulating since the late 19th century and has been most commonly used in anti-bullying rhetoric. The idea was that in removing the power behind words it would remove the hurt they cause. While I agree with the end goal of the phrase, I’m not sure how confidently I can stand behind the invalidation of words causing pain.
I recognize this analogy is not perfect. Cases of intentional verbal assault are quite different from unknowingly making a remark that triggers, at minimum, a bad taste in one’s mouth. That being said, the nursery rhyme does lay the groundwork for a future of insensitivity when it comes to communication. By supporting this notion, we are giving people the green light to haphazardly toss around whatever words they please- because it can’t hurt right?
While it would be exhausting, and realistically impossible, to scrutinize every use of our voice, there are ways to convey meaning without risking the comfort of those around us. Steering clear of mocking mental health disorders, physical diseases, death, and historically oppressed groups is always a safe bet; after all, while sticks and stones can break your bones, words can still hurt.
Image: Addison Siembieda
