Big Girls Do Cry
February 5th, 2025
Writer: Keely Conlan
Editor: Scarlett Butters
Fergie lied to us all. Big girls do f***ing cry.
Take it from me–a grown-up college senior who, by now, you’d think, should know how to handle the stress and disappointment of life's ups and downs. Nope! Sometimes the broken nail or a bad hair day is all that it takes to send me directly into a full-blown emotional spiral. While I hesitate to admit it, these breakdowns happen far more often than Fergie once said.
At a competitive and rigorous school like the University of Michigan, there's an unspoken pressure to keep it all together. Somewhere along my four years here, I internalized the idea that crying equates to fragility or incompetence. I often worried that people would interpret the tears in my eyes as weakness instead of stressful and confused tears that come from the effort of trying to navigate life as a (mostly) functioning adult.
Life has felt particularly overwhelming recently. With the weight of my future, current school work, consistent boy drama, and the existential pressure of being a girl compiling onto my back, my urge to cry has become ever so sensitive. When I feel myself teetering on the verge, I do what any logical girl would do: I text my sister.
“I want to cry.”
“Do it.”
However simplistic the answer, sometimes permission from just one is exactly what you need. Humans were inherently created with emotions; crying isn't a sign of failure or fragility – it's proof that you're alive.
I'll admit that I'm guilty of resisting this advice. The countless times where I feel that familiar lump creeping up my throat and thought, Not now, hold it together. I often look up and blink quickly at the sky for a remedy to rid myself of the imminent tear buildup, as if delaying the tears will magically evaporate my problems. Spoiler alert: no such remedy exists. Let the tears flow.
The natural bodily function of crying was adapted for a reason. Crying is weirdly therapeutic, like hitting that emotional release button. A release from any and all of the built up feelings whether it is a missed alarm, a bad workout, an awkward interaction, or even the heartbreaking discovery there's no ice cream left in the freezer. I cry and suddenly everything is ok.
The truth is, crying is normal. If anything, crying should be considered cool. It is not a weakness, it is, in fact, a strength. If you need a reminder of that, here it is. Find the people in your life who emphasize this, like my sister. She never advises me to “be strong” or “power through”. She gets it. She gets me. She knows that sometimes I’m at my strongest when there are tears running down my face because life is hard. Pretending it's not is simply inefficent.
So, if you ever find yourself fighting the urge to shed a few tears because it is “embarrassing” or “inappropriate” let me save you the doubt; do it. The world won’t stop spinning. It won't make you any less capable, and it most certainly doesn't make you any less human.
Photo Credits: Bryn Bonnema
