Different Friends for Different Reasons
November 16, 2022
Writer: Morgan Millstein
Editor: Tabitha Dickinson
Throughout my lifetime, I’ve met a lot of people, and honestly, I don’t think I could name someone who I don’t particularly like. That sounds kind of crazy and impossible, I know. Okay — maybe there have been some people I don’t totally enjoy, but there’s truly no one in my day-to-day life that I truly dislike.
I think the reason that I like almost everyone is because my bookshelf of friends is pretty damn inclusive. What can I say, I love books! I believe that almost everyone has at least a little good in them. Most people have a lot. But when we meet so many people throughout our lifetimes, it’s natural to compare different friends to one another. It’s instinctive to feel frustrated when one friend lacks a quality that another friend expresses with ease. But if we take a step back and realize that every single person is different, and what makes one person special differs from the next, we become less judgemental of others’ weaknesses. Therefore, our hypothetical bookshelf of friends will be bigger, more inclusive, and more diverse. When I want to feel young again, I read The Giving Tree; when I’m in need of a reminder that love comes in all different forms, I read It Ends With Us. Just as these books bring out different sides of me, each friend does as well.
Tinx, my favorite social media influencer, invented “The Fatal Flaw Friend Theory.” The idea is that each and every close friend has a “fatal flaw.” Maybe they are painfully loud, or maybe they buy all of the same clothes as you. According to the “Fatal Flaw Theory,” you either accept your friend in spite of their “fatal flaw,” or reconsider the friendship. Just because someone has a weakness doesn’t mean there’s no room on your bookshelf for them. It might just mean that you need to do some reorganizing. Friends don’t have to be great in every situation to be perfect in some. Essentially, different friends are for different reasons. For me, this consists of …
The friend that is practically your sibling. They know you and your family inside and out. You can be your most authentic self around them. You can sit in silence for hours, with zero awkward tension ¹.
The friend who you can’t wrap your head around the fact that their brain works the way it does, because the things that come out of their mouth are just so extraordinarily funny. They make you laugh until your stomach hurts, and bring out your inner child ².
The safe. The person who knows each and every one of your deepest darkest secrets. You can tell them absolutely anything and everything, and you don’t spend a second hesitating that they will break your trust ³.
The hype man. The friend who makes you feel pretty when you are feeling insecure. The friend that you can always count on to cheer you up ⁴.
The realist. That friend who just tells it how it is. Unsure if your outfit matches? Need relationship advice? They are the one that you call ⁵.
If all of my friends served as a “safe,” I would have to call a LOT of people each time something important happened in my life. And if each friend is the “tell it how it is” friend, life could feel a little too real. We need those silly friends to remind us that everything isn’t so serious. Although it is sometimes hard to remember, different friends are for different reasons.
¹ Shoutout to you! Cheers to many more long drives, cuddles, laughs, and adventures together.
² You people amaze me each and every day. You light up every room you walk into, and it’s impossible not to love you.
³ Thank you for always listening to my nonsense, expressing no judgment, and keeping my secrets safe. I know I can come to you with everything.
⁴ You never fail to make me feel good about myself, even on my worst days. Thank you for being my cheerleader!
⁵ A HUGE thanks for always being honest with me, and for always having my best interest. I don’t know what I would do without you.
