Thank You For Breaking My Heart
April 21, 2023
Author: Libby Zufi
Editor: Carolyn Berryman
I won’t sugarcoat it: going through your first heartbreak is probably one of a teenager’s most challenging experiences. There is no preparation for that moment of saying goodbye, no amount of chocolate or crying to your mom that makes the sadness feel better. I’ve been through it all: listening to Taylor Swift on repeat? Check. Obsessively ranting in my notes app? Check. Not only did I lose my best friend at the time, but I also lost myself and the morals I had when loving someone else. My friends will say that I am the last person who should be writing this article, and I know that I am not an expert in the field of love. Yet, I think it is essential for everyone to experience heartbreak to truly discover who they are and what they value in others and their partner. My experience with a breakup allowed me to find my self-worth, which has fostered and solidified the values I want for people in my life.
Transparently, the first few months of my breakup were rough, and it felt like every negative emotion was fighting for space in my head. I constantly questioned who I was and why I was not “enough” for the other person. This initial reflection and self-criticism blossomed into acknowledging where I could improve in caring for others and myself. You can’t shake that unsettling feeling of loss, but rather embrace it and understand that it doesn’t last forever.
Over time, I began focusing on myself, something I had not done in a while. Loving someone is beautiful, but it can be silently draining as you care for two people, not just one. One step I took during this time was to process and consider my feelings when socializing and making new friends, especially going into college. I learned that being selfish is okay when choosing who you want to surround yourself with. Additionally, I reflected on the relationships that uplifted me and why I decided to surround myself with them. I’ve learned to protect my heart from those who could potentially damage it and swarm it with people who I can trust. Now, I put myself first and continue to choose to surround myself with those who align with my values of love, care, and transparency.
I never thought I would grow from my first heartbreak, but now that I have finally moved past it, I am thankful for the experience because it guided me to self-discovery and reassurance in my values. I am thankful that my heart was broken because I was able to rebuild it stronger and more content than ever before.
Image: Izzy Saunders
