How a Bleach Stain Altered My Perspective on Relationships
December 7, 2022
Writer: Sabrina Sugg
Editor: Keara Keelty
As my fingers hovered over the keyboard, grasping for a clever introduction, I found myself staring down at the lettering on my sweatshirt. The maize letters stand out against a dark blue background, reading, “MICHIGAN,” as silver and gold banners claim “GENUINE LIMITED EDITION.” I bought this sweatshirt from a UMich Thrift Apparel pop-up shop recently. I have no immediate way of verifying if this really was a limited edition — I made the purchase because I liked the sweatshirt. While sitting here, I noticed some slight bleach stains on the bottom of the left sleeve. These imperfections make me like the sweatshirt even more–they remind me of the prior owner who (however many years ago) bought this sweatshirt, too. If they were a student here, I’m sure they would be doing exactly what I am now: staring at a blank page while wearing a cozy sweatshirt. I take comfort in knowing that I am connected to someone who I will probably never meet. Every time I wear this sweatshirt and notice the bleach stain, I cherish the stories and memories the previous owner created.
When I was working on my Environment 360 homework while in the bleach-stained sweatshirt, I realized that I was unintentionally applying course concepts to the way I perceive what is around me. The curriculum of my Environment 360 class here at Michigan includes both psychology and environmental science. This class aims to teach its students how to help society cope with a changing world, be that from the depletion of fossil fuels or a warming climate. One of the first lectures of the semester was centered around human evolution. Here, we discussed how humans have always had a motivation to increase our confidence in the world around us. This confidence has grown in part due to our ability to make associations that inform predictions: green is connected to plants, which are good, while red is connected to blood, which means danger.
While these associations can be positive, negative, universal, or specific, I began contemplating this “network” of associations that I have within my mind that are unique to me. Last year, I became very close friends with a girl from another college. We met through a very random series of events, but I am so grateful to have her in my life. One of the first things that I learned about her was that she has a cherry tattoo because of how much she loves cherries. Now, every time I use my cherry chapstick, I think of her before I think of the iconic Katy Perry lyric.
Similarly, each time I see the symbol for Gucci, I think of my close friend, who I met in high school. During freshman year, he had Gucci glasses, and his entire friend group began calling him “Gucci,” a nickname that has stuck in my mind ever since. Likewise, my roommate and I have a pet gecko together, so any time I see a gecko or a lizard, I immediately send a picture to her. I associate fairy gardens with my best friend from fifth grade, jet skiing with my best friend from high school, rockets with my other roommate–the list never seems to end.
As I thought more and more about how to approach writing about this, I asked one of my best friends if “there were any specific things that she associated with the people in her life?” After thinking about it for a little while, she said yes, and I watched as she smiled and told me about some of the people who have positively impacted her life. It was fascinating to hear about how the smallest details could influence these associations: for example, she told me about a guy on her high school swim team who wore peach pink swim trunks with avocados on them. Now, she associates him with the color peach. My favorite story, though, was of her best friend in high school, whom she associates with jelly beans. Beyond the way in which chaos of the many colors reflect her friend’s fun personality, the two of them would go buy bags of jelly beans in high school and then eat them in her friend’s indoor pool. It is a story that I don’t think I ever would have heard if not for asking that very precise question.
As someone who places relationships above all else, I am incredibly grateful to have these associations. Once I started noticing them, they began to act as a constant reminder of all of the amazing people who are in my life. So, as I sit here in a sweatshirt that once belonged to a stranger, and I read about the importance of evolution, I feel thankful for the shortcuts that my mind has created to remind me of my favorite people.
