Storm Clouds or Sunshine
February 2, 2024
Writer: Claudia Hurst
Editor: Sonia Walke
My favorite weather is cold and sunny with no clouds in the sky. The type of day when the wind feels crisp and your cheeks are highlighted with pink undertones, but the sun is bright and the air feels delicate and clean.
My least favorite weather is hot and humid. When the sun is buried behind layers of clouds and the whole world looks gray. The type of day where the air feels heavy and rain comes down in startling trickles.
Similar to my perspectives on weather, I evaluate most things in life in absolutes. I am rigid and things in my head are always prescribed as either right or wrong. But, I am also an eternal optimist. I expect that most things will be right, most days will be the perfect amount of sunny with a little chill. I expect that few things will be wrong, only the unbearably hot and humid days will actually be doomed.
I have thought in this manner for as long as I can remember. My birthday must be the best day of the year. Family dinners should always be full of laughter and pleasant conversations. Every time I go out it must be the best night ever. And if these things did not live up to their unrealistic expectations, then they must be colossal failures.
I realized that in building up all of these situations in my life, I was putting so much pressure to ensure their greatness. As a result, I would end up feeling abundant disappointment when these events did not live up to my unrealistic expectations.
About a year ago, a friend gave me the advice that most things in life are many different shades of fine. Most of the situations I encounter will not be out-of-this-world amazing, but that does not mean that they are complete disasters. This guidance helped me realize that I do not have to constantly prescribe situations before I even encounter them. It does not have to be measured as an absolute good or bad. Rather, it can be measured on a spectrum.
I still coin myself as an eternal optimist, and I don’t think any optimist wants to hear that many things in the real world will be described as “fine”. But “fine” is not an inherently bad word. Although people associate the description with negativity, “fine” simply describes the middle of the spectrum.
While I still approach many situations with the hope that they will be great, I no longer grapple with the same feelings of defeat and disappointment that I once did. I have found a greater appreciation for all the situations that can be described as just “fine.”
If I expected every day to be cold and sunny without a cloud in the sky, then I would lose the ability to appreciate those days when they came along. By renouncing the expectation that everything must be the best, I am more aware of the times when things truly stand out for their greatness.
Image: Jules Bonanno
