Put Your Oxygen Mask on First, Always
April 9th, 2025
Writer: Anushi Varma
Editor: Hannah Bernardi
When I was younger, my friends and I briefly became obsessed with GamePigeon, a mobile app through which users can text virtual, interactive games like Cup Pong to play back-and-forth. As it grew more popular, it became customary to get as many of your friends playing on GamePigeon, and my phone quickly became overwhelmed with GamePigeon messages, telling me it’s my turn to play. At the time, I was thrilled to see my messaging app flooded with notifications, and I enjoyed being able to respond to each text back-to-back.
Back then, it didn’t feel so cumbersome, but now the thought of having to respond to more than ten people in one sitting feels nauseating. Every morning when I wake up and check my phone, some of the texts I receive are from my friends sending me miscellaneous content, while others are from the organizations I’m a part of, sharing plans for future meetings or events to get my thoughts. The jumble of comments, opinions, questions, and complaints combines into an indigestible knot of mass information. Instead of responding to each notification, I shrink away. The thought of responding looms in my head while I go about my day and continues to plague me when I later scroll through my phone.
Sometimes days pass by before I get back to my friends, but finally, a strong sense of urgency enters my system after my school day has ended, and I shoot back a text after midnight. At the same time, my friends tease me for the outrageous number of unread texts on my phone. My reluctance to respond isn’t for show (look how many people want to talk to me!) but rather because I am overwhelmed. At times, it shocks me how many obligations I have circling within my sphere of influence. When I look at my phone, I see chats open a different can of worms that I struggle to navigate.
In a fast-paced environment like the University of Michigan, it’s impossible to entirely escape your responsibilities. Gradually, students become on edge from balancing their classes, exams, extracurriculars, post-grad plans, and somewhere amongst all of that, a little bit of fun. Even the smallest things, like texts, can become the metaphorical straw that breaks the camel’s back. While I feel bad for not being able to get back to people right away, I also think my feeling of overwhelm means I need time to take care of myself first. I hope that setting aside time to nurture my wants and needs will increase my capacity to be present for those around me.
While I still hold myself accountable for my commitments, I want to give myself time to think and breathe first. Feeling burnt out from our commitments is a universal experience, but we can all benefit from protecting ourselves from fatigue. Once I changed my mentality to treat myself as a human, rather than a robot, my self-esteem has improved so much. Consequently, my ability to engage with my friends and family has improved, allowing the quality of my relationships to grow richer than ever. By extending ourselves some kindness, even in the form of responding late to texts, we support ourselves, improving our ability to support others. Balance between life and work is challenging, but every little step counts, including those missed text messages.
