A Woman’s Right to Shoes (Travel, Kids, Careers, and Independence)
October 11, 2024
Writer: Chloe Pehote
Editor: Tessa Tacoma
Sex and the City, Season Six Episode Nine, “A Woman’s Right to Shoes:” Carrie Bradshaw attends the baby shower of her somewhat estranged friend Kyra; at which, a pair of Carrie’s token Monolo Blahnick heels go missing. Kyra ultimately offers to pay for the shoes, but upon hearing the “outrageous cost” refuses to cover the full amount. As the uncomfortable standoff reaches a plateau, Kyra tells Carrie that the expense is ludicrous; after all, “she has a real life now. This “real life” juxtaposed to Carrie’s current reality, is the role of a wife and mother, someone with “real responsibilities,” who can no longer fathom spending four hundred and eighty-five dollars on materialistic accessories.
A silly disagreement over a pair of misplaced shoes poses the basis of the episode's larger theme: exploring a woman’s true purpose. Kyra’s mindset suggests that the interests, activities, and identities a woman possesses before marriage are temporary–a way of life that solely serves as the buffer between what they are to become when they transition to an extension of their future partners.
Her attitude is that she has fulfilled her purpose in the world by trading her Monolos and nights out on the town for the title of homestead wife, but that the woman she was before marriage and the things she once valued were selfish and naive. While nothing is wrong with this perspective concerning contentment with her own life, her universal projection of said perspective, particularly at Carrie’s expense, is utterly flawed and emphasizes the societally pressured lack of individuality and identity associated with adult women. While being a good mother is a title adorned by many, society often finds it difficult to look beyond that. When a woman becomes a mother, her individuality, character, interests, and experiences are diluted in the background noise of tradwife expectations.
In all reality, I propose that there is no predetermined purpose in life established at a woman’s birth beyond death. While being a wife and a mother are valuable virtues in life, they are not incomparable to the noble pursuits of a successful career, bountiful friendships, worldly experiences, or even an entirely content life of solitude and independence.
The self-discovery encouraged in young women around college, in terms of who we are, what we enjoy, and our passions and interests, is not a temporary placeholder for (eventually) becoming the “selfless mother.” To become a developed human with quirks, flaws, talents, and opinions is purpose enough. So, if you find yourself at thirty-eight, single, child-free, still investing in five-hundred-dollar heels, and navigating life on your terms, as long as you are genuinely happy you have truly fulfilled your purpose in life; despite what any estranged friend, awkward colleague, politician, or overly-critical family member may tell you.
Image: Chloe Sinel
