The Rules of the Game No One Wants to Play
October 21, 2024
Writer: Keely Conlan
Editor: Scarlett Butters
Let’s talk about the games – those subtly toxic behaviors that define too many college relationships today. Many are familiar with the rules: intentional strategic delays in texting, maintaining backup options just in case, and the exhausting contest for attention. Similar to an emotional chess match, there is a high chance of losing, yet somehow we all continue to play, remaining ignorant to the subsequent result. It is, unfortunately, a universal experience.
Ironically enough, just last week, my friend and I were discussing how she admittedly felt guilty about wanting to stop talking to a guy. We instinctively encouraged her to see it out, however, as the conversation unfolded, we found ourselves shifting perspectives. Guys can shamelessly ghost and lose interest all the time without any afterthought, so why do girls feel so guilty when the roles are reversed? In other words, if boys can play the game, why can't we?
These situations in our generation often foster constant confusion and anxiety as a result of mixed signals and half-hearted interactions. Everyone is afraid of looking too interested, leading to “casual” situationships where someone’s emotions end up as collateral damage. It’s a never-ending chase with limited reward, draining and distorting the idea of love.
Boys are often seen as the “experts” at this game—dating multiple girls, prioritizing their emotions, yet still expecting commitment when they are ready. Too many fall victim to this, and when the game isn’t played, it evokes hesitation rather than satisfaction. However, when girls play by the same rules, suddenly, no one wants to play.
These unwritten rules we seem to follow are unfair, unrealistic, and above all damaging to both sides. Most walk away feeling win-less, leaving behind a trail of shallow and meaningless connections.
So instead of asking why girls can’t play the game, the real question is: why do we play at all? Maybe it’s time to stop normalizing these toxic dynamics and start investing in something worthy of our time and energy, to gain a possible positive experience and connection. I urge everyone to step out of this exhausting cycle and step into something genuine, where both contenders come out with a win.
Here’s the truth: the game ends when we all decide to stop playing.
Wouldn't that be the most powerful move of them all?
