The Pursuit of Happiness
November 11, 2024
Writer: Claudia Hurst
Editor: Alexa Kessler
The first class period of my junior year at the University of Michigan started with the question, “What was a time when you were supposed to be happy but you weren’t?”. My professor might have introduced this question as a “warm-up”, but it was obvious that one minute ago I might have been on summer vacation and now I would be fully immersing myself in the philosophical meaning of “The Pursuit of Happiness”.
I listened to my new class friends describe moments when expected happiness was met with ultimate disappointment. As stories were shared around the room, a common theme was that birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and reunions were plagued by the same unwanted sentiment; the pressure to radiate immense joy for one specific occasion made fulfilling that wish impossible.
I was forced to drop this course after the first day due to an unanticipated scheduling conflict, but this idea has continued to ruminate inside my head – why is it so difficult to enjoy the special moments we spend so much time anticipating?
The immediate explanation for this internal conflict is that when we plan and look forward to future events, we are setting our expectations for what we want to happen. When our imagined vision of the “ideal situation” is not reality, it feels like a punch in the gut. It is a reminder of “what could have been”.
However, my emotional nosedive in these situations is rarely motivated by a letdown in the event itself. My disappointment stems from the pressure I put on myself to feel a certain way in the imagined version of this scenario. It is more difficult to genuinely be your happiest self when you have a constant voice in your head saying you planned on being your happiest self.
I am guilty of scheduling my day hour-by-hour with a constant “to-do” list circling inside my head. I may not physically write down “have fun” and “be happy” in my weekly planner, but I might as well because I organize every other part of my existence. This is a part of my routine, but I am aware that I am happiest when I allow myself to be present instead of living by my plan.
My favorite moments this semester have been those that were unexpected – the impromptu living room hangouts when my roommates and I pass around our apartment microphone telling stories, the mornings when I watch the fall foliage changing colors right before my eyes, and the many random adventures that I have embarked on without an expected destination.
It makes sense that as college students we are constantly thinking about what is coming next, especially when every semester feels like it is speeding by faster than the last. While we will never sit back and let the world spin without a plan for our future, we can remind ourselves that the things that will bring us the greatest joys are likely those that we do not plan for – and perhaps cannot even imagine.
Image: Chloe Sinel
