Nothing That Isn’t Meant for You Will Ever Pass You By
November 25, 2024
Writer: Ella Javorsky
Editor: Caroline Grin
As the challenges of the semester kicked in and I started to feel consumed by the cyclic routine, I found myself eager to press pause. Fall break became a benchmark I was counting down to. I had plans to visit my home friends who go to school in Santa Barbara and finish with a few days at my cousins who live in Santa Monica. It was a trip that would help me reset, both mentally and physically, by escaping my college cycle in Ann Arbor. I was eager for a change.
While in Santa Barbara, I got to see the juxtaposition between my college life and that of my hometown best friend, Lindsay. Outside her window was a view of the ocean, and the back door revealed a view of the mountains on the other side. I couldn’t believe she lived this way and how different it was from gray Michigan. On our first night there, we drove to the top of the mountains and watched the sun set over the city of Santa Barbara. Chills radiated throughout my body as I looked at the beautiful view. This is an activity Lindsay does every day: watch the sunset and simply take in her surroundings.
On the second day, eating dinner on the water and watching the sunset once again in a different spot, I found myself in tears. I was subconsciously making comparisons and analyzing the aspects of my college experience compared to hers. I grew envious, upset, and overwhelmed with emotion. That night, I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts were endless as I laid in bed. As someone who generally has a positive outlook, this was unusual for me. I felt so lost and alone, yet I was in the most beautiful place with my best hometown friends. Something wasn’t adding up.
The following day I went to my cousin's house to conclude my final days of fall break. It was only when I was running alone along the beach that it came to me. I realized that I had been my own worst enemy. My friend had said to me the night before, “nothing that isn’t meant for you will ever pass you by.” I realized that she was right, and I had been afraid to let go of my own insecurities. I was fighting against myself, and I was lost inside the voices in my head. I started to think about all that I had built here in Michigan. While different from others, the life that I have curated here in Ann Arbor is one that is perfect for me. I had wasted priceless time with my childhood friends analyzing their new lives and comparing it to mine.
Now back and settled in my routine, I realize how easy it is to compare and assume that everyone has it better. It is easy to feel like you are struggling alone, and everyone is better off. This is never the case, and I am actively shifting my mindset. I aim to be present and let the good stick around while the bad passes by. I am finding the calm in chaos and growing through each mistake I make and obstacles I face. While easier said than done, this is a step we all must take in order to truly appreciate all that we have instead of dwelling on what others may have better.
Image: Zoe Romeu
