January 31, 2022
Editor: Haley Gagerman
Artist: Charlotte Lee
In high school, I always felt as though I had to fit the cookie cutter mold that replicated the personality traits and appearances of the demographics of my high school. Even when analyzing my high school course load, I realized it consisted of all the required classes, most that did not pique my interest. I often felt lost, confused, and unable to truly define myself. I hoped that once I arrived at college, wherever that was going to be, I would become more passionate about what I was studying, about life, and about myself.
Thankfully, that is exactly what happened. However, some advice for freshmen: it takes time. First semester especially, I found myself questioning some friendships, some personal decisions, and my path in life.
As they say, everything happens in time, which is what I kept reminding myself. After a long winter break, I spent my second semester learning, loving, reflecting, growing, and most importantly, changing.
Change is a scary thing, I’ll admit it. Especially when you take a step back and realize how far you’ve come. Little, anxious me transformed into a confident, intelligent, and fierce woman. This evolution resulted from the perfect cocktail: great friends, a rigorous but fascinating course load, and a newfound confidence that developed from the independence that comes with college.
While going through all of this, I realized I don’t have time or energy to spare on toxic people, ideas, and habits. Shedding these layers of toxicity is liberating, but can be confused by outsiders as distancing yourself, dropping people, and being selfish. What one must remember is that we are supposed to change.
It is difficult to deal with the backlash from people who simply don’t understand. Judgment from others is a reflection of their own insecurities, which is why I do not pay much attention to it. I am not naive and I don’t avoid constructive criticism, but there is a fine line between that and maliciousness. It's all about intent.
For example, I am a political science major, meaning that a large portion of my schoolwork is based on the issues in our current day political climate. Many of these issues are partisan and polarizing, which can cause conflict amongst friends or family members that disagree. At times, I am ridiculed for caring too much, or for having too strong of an opinion on certain issues, but I am always open to a heated debate. I used to avoid these types of controversial conversations, whereas I now embrace them and use them as an opportunity to showcase the knowledge I have gained while being at Michigan.
With this comes maturity, too. My 17 year old sister can sit at a table with grown ups and their dialogue can go in one ear and out the other, but I can be sat at the same table and be able to engage and even contest some of their opinions.
Being at a school with 50,000 kids in the midwest, and even more specifically, a sorority house with 63 unique girls, changes many other aspects of life as well. I have taken on new terms, new fashion styles, music, and more. I am extremely grateful to have that opportunity, however, it is met with some questions and interrogation from family and friends back in New York.
My advice to those who feel stuck: stay true to yourself. If friends or loved ones judge you for what makes you YOU, it might be time to rethink those relationships. Authenticity is key, and it will take you far. My favorite parts about my friends are the ones that make them different. Be a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios. :)