April 3, 2022 

Editor: Abigail Peacock
Artist: Sydney Payton

Having regrets is a natural part of life. Regret is defined as “a sad feeling because of something that has happened or something that you have done or not done”. This can derive from any sort of event, or even from an event that didn’t happen. A regret can span a lifetime, or last for three seconds. Truly, a regret can be anything and everything. What is universal and consistent about regret, though, is that it causes a sense of remorse. It makes a person think, “what if?”. What if I had bought that ticket? What if I had contained my emotions? What if I had not gone to that party? Regrets are hard to live with - they bury you in the past and restrain you from moving forward. If you build up enough regrets, it can feel as though you are drowning in a pool of guilt.

Last year, when I was recovering from my eating disorder, I was plagued by my regrets. I regretted pushing my friends away, having the mindset that skinny was better, and restricting myself. I wished it had never happened. I regretted it because of the side effects that came with my recovery. Everything felt out of control, and I was terrified. It felt like I was starting at square one, and I regretted ever letting myself get there in the first place.

Truthfully, if you ask me if I regret having that mind set, I would still say yes. I still wish it hadn’t happened, and I find myself wondering how my life would have been different if I hadn’t developed an eating disorder. But I don’t regret it in the same way anymore. I don’t reflect on my time to bring back feelings of sadness or guilt. I look back to realize how far I have come. I reflect back on that experience to feel proud of myself. 

The word regret comes from English regrate 1540, meaning ‘to reward, repay, requite (a person)’, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Regret used to be used as a positive word. It meant to reward a person… what if we redefined the current-day definition of regret and reverted to how it used to be used? What if we rewarded a person for having a regret, instead of punishing yourself for it? Look at regret as a picture of how far you have come, or how much progress you have made.

If you have a regret, it means you got through it. That’s something to celebrate. If I hadn’t had an eating disorder, I would not be as strong as I am today. That is something to celebrate. Regrets don’t need to have such a negative connotation. They don’t have to drown you. If you would just shift your perspective on what a regret is, maybe they’ll help you move forward. Regrets, even though we are taught to despise them, can give us wisdom, perseverance, pride, and optimism. Regrets are something to brag about. Appreciate your regrets, and keep moving forward.