February 21, 2022

Editor: Carina Trama
Artist: Serena Shen

If you enter my living room, you’ll find countless photo albums filled with pictures of my brother and I. These albums span years, and they’ve been carefully curated to display the brightest parts of our childhoods and beyond. It’s clear to any onlooker that my brother and I are no longer the tiny babies we once were. What often gets overlooked, however, is the growth that our parents experienced while we grew up. Just because they may not have grown in inches or weight doesn’t mean they haven’t grown emotionally. 

When my brother and I were first born, my mom and dad were young parents in their early 30s, naive and excited for what was to come. My dad sported a full head of hair and my mom a wrinkle-free face that lit up every time she smiled. Some of my fondest childhood memories revolved around my dad’s physical abilities - whether he was hanging me over his shoulders, throwing me into pools, or completing his daily workouts with my brother and I on his back; I thought he was the strongest man in the world. 

But as I have grown older, so has he. The head that once held brown, luscious locks now displays a large bald spot with sprinkles of gray. His muscle tone isn’t what it used to be, and I can’t remember the last time he could lift me off of my feet. I’ve come to realize he is not the super-human, all powerful man that I had imagined him to be. He’s just another dad trying to overcome the inevitable side-effects of aging. 

The smooth skin that made up my mom’s face is now dotted with age spots and laugh lines, each divot reminiscent of the happy memories we’ve shared over the past nineteen years. It’s been years since her hair shined its natural color; as she relies on the color bottle to restore the youthful look she clings to. Looking at the face that used to be and the voluminous silky hair that has faded away reminds me of how much and how fast life has progressed since I was born. 

But with physical growth comes great mental maturation, and this is not exclusive to those in their youth. My parents have learned a great deal about what it means to truly sacrifice for those you love - they learned that sometimes children may require more time and attention than they ever thought they could provide. They have learned how to comfort one another when those who raised them cease to remain in their lives. While I was grappling with my independence as a teenager, they wrestled with becoming the matriarchs and patriarchs of not just our blended family, but their respective ones as well. 

I have been so hyper focused on the changes that have accompanied the past few years of my own life, that I never really stopped to consider the adjustments my own parents confronted. With my brother going off to college next year and me entering my sophomore year at Michigan, my mom and dad are learning how to live with an empty nest: no kids at home to occupy themselves with or take care of. They’re learning to cope with the trials and tribulations that come with aging parents and children. 

Though it is easy to get lost in the chaos and change that is college life, bear in mind that your parents are going through something similar in their own, unique way. Surely they are not the same people they were when they brought you into this world. They’ve worked hard to be the parents you needed, and just as you've grown into yourself, so have they. Maybe they aren’t the perfect, flawless models your young mind imagined them to be, but they’ve spent years trying to come as close to your dreams as possible. Just as you’ve learned a great from your parents, you taught them lessons they didn’t know they needed. The focus in those countless living room photo albums may be you, but next time look at who’s beside you. Your parents have grown with you, they just tend to fade into the background.