March 6, 2022 

As I sat alone at the top level of a dance club in downtown Cancun, Mexico, I could distinctly sense the lingering smell of cheap Tequila and fraternity-boy sweat. Simultaneously, I felt my hearing deplete with every passing second, as the deafening music bounced off the walls with every beat. The club was filled with University of Michigan sophomores, many of whom I knew. Regardless of whether I recognized these faces from classes or social media, the looks of confusion and pity I received as each person passed by stung even more than the sunburns that seared my skin. I tried my best to ignore the judgemental stares and collect myself. A few minutes into my break from the suffocating scene that occurred on the level below me, I received a text from my worried friend regarding my whereabouts. I assured her that I was completely fine, I simply needed a break. I was urged by several acquaintances to return to the dance floor, however, I knew myself better than that. I promptly left the venue with my roommate and got the real break (and good night of sleep) that I so desperately yearned for. 

When my head hit the freshly-made hotel bed that night, I couldn’t have felt more at peace with my decision. Despite my expected fear of a bad case of FOMO, I actually was filled with immense pride in the power I gained by saying no to staying late, and the fact that I made my own choice to leave the venue early. In fact, looking back at my experience on the overwhelming spring break trip as a whole, I’m glad I went, yet even prouder of myself for enjoying the trip on my own terms. I didn’t feel pressured to attend every excursion, stay at every club all night, or talk to every boy. Putting your own desires first instead of adhering to social norms and expectations may be a day to day occurrence for many. However, for me personally, I have only this year begun to master the art of putting my own needs first, especially within the nonstop college lifestyle. 

Sophomore year has been a big turning point for me in terms of following my own rules, timelines, and plans. I’m no longer engulfed by a wave of anxiety if I decide to stay in and relax instead of going out on a Friday night. I feel peace in knowing that I can go out if I want to, but am simultaneously perfectly satisfied by the idea of putting on a movie and eating over-salted, buttery popcorn with my roommates. 

Outside of the social scene, this concept of saying no and putting yourself first can be applied to academics as well. As college students, we are expected to be able to put our all into every aspect of our lives. However, it is simply unreasonable to be the best versions of ourselves constantly. Luckily, every professor I have taken courses with has been incredibly understanding if I request an extension or miss a class here and there because I am just too overwhelmed. However, many of my friends have not had the same experiences. Granting students breaks when they are needed should not be a luxury, but the norm at universities nationwide. 

If anyone reading this takes away one thing from this article, let it be this: don’t be afraid to put yourself first, even if it seems intimidating to do so. While it is certainly easier said than done, don’t jeopardize your mental health by focusing too heavily on stereotypical social norms and ridiculous academic expectations. Because while I do feel extraordinarily lucky to attend a college like Michigan which provides intense academic rigor and countless social opportunities at any given moment, I found it far too easy to prioritize everything but my own well being during my freshman year. Your mental health should always come first, regardless of all of the chaos that comes with college- never be afraid to say no when you need to.