April 2, 2021

Dear Laptop, It’s Time to Breakup

By Melody Leibner

This semester, I have relied on my work as my primary tie to U-M; I live off campus, have no car, and feel far removed from the warm hues State Street offers. I had an in person class first semester where, even behind masks, I could feel my classmates smile, and creatively collaborate with my eyes, instead of my screen. I would walk and get a slice of Joe’s before class, or get a quick sandwich from Amer’s before returning to my little corner in West Quad. Now, central campus is a 30 minute walk away, and I am left to my own devices. Literally. So, in an effort to stay connected, I have been prioritizing my work as a way to convey who I am virtually.

It started small – staying caught up on assignments, emailing with my teachers, and attending office hours, but I quickly fell into a habit that has just put too much pressure on me. With our syllabi for the whole semester readily available, and my calendar set with assignments stretched far into the future, I can’t stop doing work. It is all I think about, and has come to a point where I can never just sit and relax. I know we are students, but in the midst of a pandemic, where has the balance of school and life gone?

As soon as I wake up, I make a schedule for the day revolving around my Zooms, squeezing assignments in where I can, Hopelessly Yellow meetings before dinner, and studying at night. Nowhere in my schedule do I fit in an hour of down time, or include “watch an episode of Sex & The City.” There is a fine line between being a good student and staying on top of your shit, and letting work dictate your entire life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am really proud of myself, and it feels good to be ahead, but my brain just never slows down. I have to text my sister or my friends “is it okay if I am done with work for the night? I am literally so exhausted with a splitting headache and am under the covers, but I really want to do x,y,z before tomorrow.” A splitting headache? Under the covers? Exhausted? Put the damn computer down!!!

Even if you wake up, attempt to work for an hour, and just aren’t feeling it: put the damn computer down!!! You tried. We try all the time – it is not normal to be successful and crazy productive every single day. You are allowed to just take your classes, and then go outside, walk, and take care of yourself without feeling guilty about putting the computer away. I am dating my classes, and it’s time for a major breakup.

We are living & growing into the world, and growing out of school. Our classes are supposed to equip us for our lives, not for straight A’s. Even if our University won’t support us in only providing two wellness days off for the whole semester, that doesn’t mean we should only have two wellness days in the semester. For lack of better words, that’s f**ked up! Our bodies and our minds deserve much more than that, and it is high time for us to realize that simply existing is incredible. Waking up, breathing, eating, and smiling is quite literally a miracle – and we need to embrace it.

We have to start prioritizing our lives instead of just our classes and computers. We are only getting older – let’s not look back in twenty years and only remember blue light. Instead, let’s enjoy the lights of our lives, the light in our eyes, and some good old-fashioned sunlight.

Edited by Ryan Hammel