October 4, 2021

You are the main character of your life. However, that does not mean that you often anticipate reenacting a scene from your favorite romantic movie; and, by this, specifically, I mean the break-up scene. This is rather unfortunate, as I like to romanticize moments in my life. Maybe that will someday become my fatal flaw, but, for now, I would prefer to somewhat romantically recount the story of the end of my long-term high school relationship in a way that is much more Mamma Mia! or Legally Blonde.

I rarely think about the frequency with which the waiters at restaurants attempt to subtly interrupt your conversation. The first time, it was to place glasses of water in front of us and ask if we wanted anything else to drink. At that point, I was still fully in love with the person sitting across the table from me. We both declined an additional beverage and asked to order our food instead. As the waiter walked away after taking our order, I glanced down at my water and noticed that the ice was heart-shaped. The second time the waiter returned, he placed our food in front of us. Moments later, my boyfriend unexpectedly looked me in my eyes and uttered a statement that broke a heart as easily as an ice cube falling to the floor, shattering into 100 pieces: “You’re an incredible person, but I just don’t feel the way I used to.” Translation? He had fallen out of love. It was then that I resorted to staring intently down at my water glass, inevitably noticing that the heart-shaped ice had melted.

Whether fictitious or not, the unexpected moment of a breakup, of feeling as though you had been misled by a person who meant so much to you, hurts. 

I would be the first person to admit that I did not handle being broken up with for the first time in the most mature way. I recall the first few days as being spent in my bedroom as often as possible, holding onto my gigantic, peculiar-looking sloth stuffed animal, and constantly crying.

Although it wasn’t the greatest of times, I learned so many lessons in the months following. Thus, I have some (hopefully) helpful pieces of advice and means of distraction that I would strongly recommend.

First off, give yourself some space from whomever it was. Slowly, as you begin to feel ready, move those Instagram photos to your archive; move all of the other pictures of the two of you into the “My Eyes Only” folder on Snapchat - that way you can look back on those pictures later on, but you will not just suddenly (and rather unnecessarily) come upon them. 

I have repeatedly turned to one book on every occasion in my life during which I need a distraction: Ella Frances Sanders’ Eating the Sun: Small Musings on a Vast Universe. This book powerfully combines both poetry and science, connecting the human experience with our relationship to the natural world. It will give you something beyond what is currently going on in your life to contemplate.

Spend time with friends and family! Set a goal for yourself to meet a few new people. Talk to that cute person in your class on Monday, and even ask them to meet up at Starbucks on State Street one day. Dress up with a full face of makeup and splurge on Insomnia Cookies at midnight. Lazily picnic on the Diag with a group of friends. Just take in all that life has to offer; realize that you were full before your ex, and are even more full after them. 

Start a new TV show (I would highly recommend New Girl). Maybe learn something new. After my break-up, I uncovered a hidden talent in playing the ukulele. 

Regardless, I am sure that everyone has told you this already, but the pain will lessen as time goes by, until you forget that it was ever even there. In the end, that melted heart-shaped ice cube can take shape once again, after just a little time in the freezer - and this time, it can’t melt, shatter, or break: it is kept safe within you.