October 22, 2021

It was 1:30 am on October 2nd, 2020, and I was running barefoot through the desert in Utah. Three boys I went to high school with, who were practically strangers to me a month before, quickly became three of my closest friends. 

The only sound was our laughter echoing through the open air. The only light was from the moon plastered overhead and a single flashlight leading the way. We knew we were close to our destination when we grew aware of faint music and the glow of a campfire. 

The quiet and stark desert opened to an exuberant community of people. I could not believe my eyes. A group of girls were moving through glow in the dark hula-hoops -  hypnotizing me as they swayed to the rhythm. Atop a large rock, people were juggling fire between two poles, throwing it back and forth, and illuminating the desert. Across a canyon, a group of people were slacklining - balancing on solely a thin tightrope as they made their way over the 500 foot canyon. Others were gathered around the campfire dancing their hearts out to the beat of the music.

I sat with my new friends and deeply exhaled. Looking up at the stars and feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude, I wondered how I got so lucky to experience this. 

The truth was, it wasn’t luck; I got here because I took a leap. 

Just a month earlier, I was lying in my bed on a sleepy September night when my phone suddenly buzzed with a text, jolting me awake.

Hey! Me, Will and Matt are driving cross-country to California tomorrow. Are you in?

It had been a dream of mine to drive cross country. I made countless Pinterest boards about it, imagining myself driving through the desert playing my favorite Lana Del Rey song with

the wind whipping through my hair. 

But, I never expected the opportunity to present itself this way.

In the middle of a pandemic.

With three boys I barely knew.

Staying in the comforts of my bed would be the safest thing to do. 

Nothing could go wrong if I stayed at home.

My mind circled in doubts. My desire to go battled with my mind, which screamed “NO WAY!” These doubts almost held me back. 

But...

Two days later, I leaped in the backseat of the car that would soon take me over 2,000 miles, and become the home to many laughs, singing competitions, secrets shared, pictures taken, and intimate conversations.

The three strangers would become cross-country family, as we camped in deserts in Utah, climbed mountains in Colorado, and stayed up late watching cartoons and giving each other life advice. 

Pushing myself out of my comfort zone in such an abrupt way ended up being one of my most memorable experiences. I now feel bolder, more sure of myself, and open to trying new things.

If I had made an excuse not to go, I would’ve let my doubts win. They would’ve been more powerful than my ache for adventure, growth, and excitement. While doubts still run through my brain, urging me to stay in my comfort zone, I try not to let them win anymore. I try not to let them hold me back, so I can better see the open road of possibilities that lie ahead of me.