Lose an Eyelash, Make a Wish
October 30, 2023
Writer: Margot Barrera
Editor: Jessica Isser
I don’t consider myself to be a superstitious person – I don’t wear lucky socks on game days, I don’t throw pennies in fountains, and I don’t take careful steps to avoid the cracks in the sidewalks, but I do blow on eyelashes; Practically every time I find one. From an age too early to recall, my older sister told me that whenever you lose an eyelash – whether it be from rubbing tired eyes, finally removing dried mascara, or finding one in bedsheets that fell loose – you make a wish, blow it off your finger, and keep that wish locked up because, if you release it into the world, you risk it not coming true.
My little ritual has subconsciously prompted me try and will things into the universe that are, realistically, in my control. I write these wishes off as things I want to just happen to me when, in reality, I have to make them happen. With every eyelash my wishes change, though there are a few significant ones that frequently appear in the queue of desires:
An A in a class, 4.0 GPA
To be more fit, more toned, more thin
A boyfriend
Depending on the time in the semester, my list varies. I am currently writing this post-Econ midterm after having spent my whole week wishing for an A. But, what is stopping me from turning these wishes into tangible, hard-earned outcomes? Would I love to get lucky and have all my half-guesses in the multiple choice section turn out to be accurate? Don’t we all. But I know it takes late nights in the Ugli, repetitive quizlet sessions, and meticulous note-taking during lectures to be able to see that golden letter A on my transcript. As much as I would love to be someone who can hear a concept once and understand it, I know the limitations of my academic abilities and know that my ability to get that A is based on my drive and determination to work for it. A sole wish on an eyelash won’t get me there.
I struggle with my second most common wish a little bit more. Even when I am the most consistent in the gym, I can’t say I’ve ever been completely in love with the aesthetics of my body. In talking about working for these wishes, I know there are improvements I could make to my health and fitness journey. I could go to the gym six days a week instead of barely four, I could always add another rep, run another mile, eat a little healthier. But at some point, I also know that every time I wish on an eyelash to shrink myself, I fall a little closer back to where I was a few years ago: a time when I’d miss out on morning-after coffee and bagel debriefs with my friends because I had to fit in a session on the Stairmaster, or when I hadn’t yet discovered the joys of late night ice cream outings that kept us sitting and talking in parking lots for hours. Though I now rarely miss out on plans with my friends for a trip to the gym, I still find myself wishing on eyelashes for a metabolism that would let me indulge without the guilt and fear of repercussions. Still – and, to some extent, probably always – accepting that I’ll never be stick-thin is a work in progress for me. However, if I have to wish on an eyelash for something, I’m working on wishing for acceptance of myself, for being okay with being me, no matter what size I am.
Lastly, I think at some point everyone has wished for a chance to give and to feel love. My desire for a boyfriend has manifested itself out of my love of rom-coms and heart-throb romance novels; both of which have made my expectations of romantic date proposals and passionate conversations on the beach at midnight far beyond my reality. I don’t just wish for a boyfriend, I wish to be consumed by love. There’s no tangible hard work I can put in to attain this desire – I can’t exactly spend hours in a library studying how to make a deep emotional and romantic connection. There’s also nothing inherently toxic or harmful about wishing for a boyfriend, either. Deep down, it’s probably somewhat reflective of my need to source out approval from those around me, as opposed to granting it to myself. Yet, Instead of wishing for another form of love, I need to keep in mind that I experience love every day. I love my friends and they show me love everytime we ditch all responsibilities for a walk in the arb, shop each other’s closets for going out tops, or text each other new songs we think they’d like. I am blessed with love from my family, who call and text me every day, reminding me that even though I’m a thousand miles away from them, distance has no impact on our connection. My wishes for a boyfriend don’t crawl out of any gaping hole from a lack of love, because there isn’t one. When I wish for a boyfriend, what I really wish for is to be satisfied with the love I have, and to open up a space to welcome more, whenever the time is right.
Should all my wishes one day come true, I know I’d find something else to blow on an eyelash for. Social pressures tell us that no matter how smart, how accomplished, or how “perfect” of a lifestyle we have, we should always do more, be better, be prettier – they feed us the need to have it all, though that need will never be satisfied. There’s no harm in making wishes or finding something to believe in. But I’m working on wishing to find happiness and acceptance with who I am, and where I am. In losing an eyelash, I make a wish to gain self-acceptance.
