I Dream of the Golden State
February 23, 2024
Writer: Anushi Varma
Editor: Anna Pierson
My eyes are closed. I fixate on the feeling of warmth from the sun settling over my skin. I open my eyes and see the sky is a vast blue spotted with white delicate clouds. The wind gently blows my hair and the palm trees gathered alongside the beach. When the sun sets, the sky is a mix of vivid magenta and warm orange. I feel content, embraced by the glow of California.
I grew up in Illinois; home to cornfields, long narrow roads, and overcast winters. Quickly, I grew disillusioned by the Midwest’s down-to-earth charm. The monotony of my padded, insulated suburban town–where we rotated between ordering from the same two restaurants, only leaving the house to go grocery shopping, and most times staying in to watch TV–became suffocating. I felt trapped, yearning for something greater than the very small slice of the world I had seen. Like straight out of a movie, I would look out of my window, trying to find a world, any world, different from my own.
My best friend and I always dreamt of going to college in California. We grew up quite similarly; frustrated with strict parents and terribly bored of the bubble of our small and quiet town. We fervently made plans for her to go to UC Berkeley and me to UCLA. We would make trips to visit one another so that we could bask in the West Coast sun, glamor, and excitement together. We would reinvent ourselves, finally express and feel the utmost depth of our beings. I dreamt passionately of living in California: exploring new sights per my whims, lounging by the beach, basking in the warmth of the sun every day for as long as bearable. Suddenly, the future felt so bright.
I didn’t make it to UCLA. In fact, I wasn’t even allowed to try. Concerned by the distance between home in the Midwest and me in California, my parents forbade me from applying. My best friend, on the other hand, did make it to UC Berkeley, and her parents, albeit reluctantly, let her go. Fighting sharp disappointment in my outcome, I lived vicariously through her experiences. I imagined being in her shoes: landing in San Francisco, watching the sunset from campus, taking trips to Newport Beach with her newfound friends. I was in awe of my best friend. At least her dream had so charmingly come true. Mine hadn’t yet, but I guess who’s to say it never would?
This is my second year as an undergraduate student at the University of Michigan. I will say that the cornfields, long narrow roads, and overcast winters are no different from my hometown, but I put in effort to make my experience glow as much as possible. I go to fancy dinners with my friends, look at jewelry at the farmer’s market, check out concerts in Ann Arbor and Detroit, spontaneously explore vintage clothing boutiques, and more. I finally see just how much potential there is in Ann Arbor, a place I frankly had least expected, to design a beautiful college experience for myself.
I still dream of palm trees and sand under my feet, but I’ve also found comfort in this new college town of mine. By keeping an open mind, I’m able to find beauty and glamor in what’s around me. Dreams encourage us to hold faith in our unwritten future, but they shouldn’t detract from enjoying and living in the moments that are already written. I don’t have to be in the Golden State to have a golden lifestyle. The golden lifestyle is always in our hands.
