It’s Never That Deep
March 10th, 2025
Writer: Sophia Singh
Editor: Hannah Berandi
It was my birthday in early January, so I decided to host a little get together in celebration. With few juniors left in Ann Arbor this semester (many are abroad), and my friends and I all drained (it was the peak of sorority rush season), I wasn’t expecting more than five people to show up. In fact, I was mentally preparing myself for no-shows with every reason I could find: bad weather, too late at night, too tired, etc. Everything was an excuse to avoid confronting the little monster inside my head screaming that no one would show because they actually didn’t like me.
You might be thinking, Sophia, are you serious?
Yes, reader, I am. I have this bad habit of getting really in my own head about how people perceive me, and I always go to the worst place possible for no good reason. No matter how long I’ve been friends with someone and how long that friendship has thrived, I find myself jumping to the conclusion that the person actually doesn’t like me and that their behavior is all a show. If you were to ask, I’d say it must stem from being overly critical of myself–If I don’t love myself, who else will? But how is it possible that other people can see the good I don’t?
The night of my birthday get together was actually lovely. So many of my friends showed up for the occasion, and it was an overall very warm and happy evening. Even the friends who were abroad texted and called me from random European numbers to tell me “Happy Birthday.” I don’t know if my friends will ever read this, but I hope they know that them being there meant the world to me. Their presence soothed my fears to a large extent, and reminded me I needed to chill out on the whole self-depreciation thing.
My point with this anecdote is that moments of self-doubt just like these are often what reminds me to reflect on who is in my life. I am surrounded by such amazing, smart, funny, and talented friends, both at college and back home. I have a wonderful boyfriend, for whom I am forever grateful. And, of course, I have an extremely supportive family. At every corner in my life, someone is there for me unconditionally. What more could I ask for?
In times like this, I am brought to think more and more of the saying that “like draws to like.” I believe you–and I– are surrounded by good people for a reason, as a reflection of yourself, and what you put out into this world. I am loved, because I also love. And, you–the reader, too. With this, I discourage you from letting the “what if. . .?” ruin prospective bonding moments or special times you could be creating with those you value most. Who cares? It’s never that deep.
