Big Sister, Little Sister
March 10th, 2025
Photo: Matilda Taylor
Writer: Amany Sayed
Editor: KayLynn Young
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was stomping around the living room in my pajamas, whining about being the youngest in the family with my little eyebrows scrunched together and lips pouting. My mom sighed and told me I didn’t realize how lucky I was.
Fast forward two years later, and there I was in the hospital reading out loud from a Mo Williams Pigeon picture book to my newborn baby brother. His tiny eyes were shut, but his small hands were waving slowly back and forth—I knew he was listening.
Now, I have one younger brother, one younger sister, and one older sister, which effectively makes me the (first) middle child. If I went back and told my little five-year-old self that this is how my family would look today, she’d absolutely lose her mind. For about a third of my life, being the youngest in the family was a big part of my identity. I was obsessed with the notion of being an older sister, partly because of how much I idolized my own, and partly because I was convinced that if I was only the eldest, I could do everything I wanted to do.
Of course, most of what I thought would come with being an older sibling were really the perks of just getting older, like having more freedom or finally getting a phone. Once I became the older sister my younger self dreamed of, I found that it was a lot more stressful than I had initially imagined. Everything I do is now an example I set for my siblings, and I feel an almost innate instinct to protect them and ensure they’re prepared for life.
On the bright side, I’ve had my own older sister to guide me through everything and be the person I can turn to whenever I need help. My sister is my closest friend, and I strive to be the older sister she is to my younger siblings and me. I didn’t fully understand the role she has in keeping the family together until she went out of state for college during my freshman year of high school. Although we facetimed every day, I still missed her terribly.
In an Arab family, the eldest daughter commonly takes on a lot of responsibility in helping to manage the household. I had to step up and do what I could to fill the parts of her shoes she physically couldn’t while she was away. I did my best to watch my siblings and be the shoulder for my mom to lean on when she needed it. I could handle the chores, but the hardest part was honestly going on any sort of family outing without her. While my little siblings annoyed each other, and my parents talked amongst themselves, I often found myself just wishing my older sister was there. For my entire childhood, we did everything together, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Now that I’m also in college, I’ve started to reevaluate my role as both the little and the big sister. Thankfully, I live close enough to go back home most weekends, but I still made sure to tell my little brother and sister not to give my parents too much trouble in my absence.
Like most older sisters, I like to tell my little siblings to bring me water or throw my stuff in the trash. Like most younger sisters, I ask my big sister for advice on everything, from the best way to email my professor to how to find my purpose in life. Unlike most middle children, I am finding the balance between being both a big and a little sister as opposed to being constantly bouncing between two worlds. I love my family, and being an older and younger sister has made me the person I am today.
