Don’t Box Breathe, Just Crack Your Knuckles
April 7, 2023
Author: Lily Miro
Editor: Samantha Rich
My mom always told me to stop cracking my knuckles when I was younger. I would stop somewhat reluctantly and would never feel better. I have struggled with social anxiety my entire life, and small nervous tics often come with this pressure. Bouncing my right leg, cracking my knuckles, picking my nails, twisting my earrings, and twirling my hair are only a few of the things I do when I start to experience this anxiety. We often get told that these things hinder our mental health and only heighten to the pressure we face; however, I believe that these small nervous tics aid in combating my anxiety and are a healthy way to cope with the more nerve-racking parts of life.
Society places immense pressure on everyone to be invincible, and mindlessly biting your perfect nails or cracking your healthy knuckles are signs of the resulting anxiety that most people are forced to mask. Whenever I would have to give the inevitable presentation in front of the entire class, I would sit in my chair, slowly cracking each of my knuckles. Each time I would hear the satisfying sound that came with each crack, my nerves would ease, and my anxiety would subside. Whenever I was scared to confront a friend or to go through an important interview, I would pick at my fingernails, and my breathing would instantly be steadied.
“Just breathe” was such a common phrase in my life, and while breathing can sometimes help, I often found that it was biting my nails and twisting my hair — coping strategies always deemed unhealthy by society — that helped.
This isn’t solely about the taboo surrounding harmless coping strategies but rather the idea that anxiety can be eased in many different ways. Sometimes it is hard to see how these coping mechanisms are beneficial when being an anxious person is heavily stigmatized by society. I have realized that sometimes I just need to cope in the ways that make the most sense to me. Although I used to be discouraged from these strategies, rather than allowing other people’ expectations to dictate how I cope with my anxiety, I choose to indulge in these harmless coping strategies because they help me, and that’s the most important part. Anxiety is so prevalent in so many people's lives and shouldn’t be stigmatized by the strictness of what are more apparent coping strategies and ones that keep the ‘flawed’ anxious part of you hidden.
This isn’t to say that all coping strategies are healthy, and it is important to recognize which ones are harmful. Harming your own body to feel pain, or masking your anxiety behind substance abuse and a happy face isn’t the answer. Sometimes the solution lies in the strategies that allow your mind to stay settled in a calm state, listening to the soothing pops of your knuckles or acknowledging the changing lengths of your nails.
Too often, invisible coping strategies like box breathing are considered the only healthy option, while anything that puts a visible strain on your body — that tells the world you're anxious — is unhealthy. This double standard reflects not only the stigma surrounding anxiety, but also the standard that we must always present the most confident and perfect versions of ourselves. It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to have no idea what’s going on, it’s okay to let the butterflies in your stomach fuel a round of nail-biting, it’s okay to have anxiety, and it’s especially okay to crack your knuckles.
Image: Julia Bonanno
