I am more than aware of Breast Cancer
October 27, 2022
Writer: Becca Kerschner
Editors: Melody Leibner, Ryan Hammel, Chloe Sinel
My mother is my best friend. She’s the first person I call with good news, when I want to rant, or when I am mid-anxiety attack. My mother is a superhero. She left communist Cuba and came to the United States at fifteen, not knowing any English. She studied her ass off and went to NYU nursing school. She is the most caring mother who is willing to do absolutely anything for her family. In my head, and to my family, she is invincible.
When I found out my mother had breast cancer upon my arrival home for spring break my sophomore year of college, to say I was shocked would be a massive understatement. Ever since I was a little girl participating in rec sports, my teams and coaches gave October — Breast Cancer Awareness Month — a lot of attention, but I never gave it much thought aside from wondering where my pink cheer bow was. Now, however, breast cancer consumes a very large part of my daily thoughts.
My mom has been extremely lucky. She religiously gets her mammograms, and as a result, her doctors caught her breast cancer in Stage 1 before it had progressed. My mom has triple-negative breast cancer, which progresses extremely quickly and requires a rather aggressive treatment approach. It is also a lot more likely to reoccur after treatment than any other type of breast cancer.
From the moment I found out about her diagnosis, I made it my mission to learn everything I could about triple-negative breast cancer: I researched my mother’s doctors, found helpful, relaxing things for her to do at home, and tried my best to keep our house running the same way she did.
But, no amount of research could have prepared me to watch my superhero mother cry and live for months in immense pain. I watched my mom cry when her hair was first falling out, when she went to the hair salon to shave her head, when she was in excruciating pain from chemotherapy, when she couldn’t eat anything other than soup because of her mouth sores, when the heating pad wouldn’t help her bone pain, when she couldn’t move me in for my junior year of college, and when we realized we would not be able to celebrate my 21st birthday together as planned.
All I wanted to do was to take away her pain, but I couldn’t, and will never be able to. It drove me crazy that I could not remedy the pain of the person who has been my rock for my entire life, and who has always cured mine. I wrestle with feelings of guilt daily. I feel guilty that I am not home to go with my mom to radiation. I feel guilty that I am having fun at school while my mom is in pain at home. I feel guilty that this has affected me so much when I know so many others have it worse — I should be grateful that it is only Stage 1.
My therapist gave me this advice that has helped me deal with the overwhelming guilt: Cancer affects the entire family. It doesn’t matter the stage or the outlook - confronting your own morality and the morality of your loved ones is a very difficult thing. Also, just because someone might “have it worse” than you does not mean that your struggles are invalid.
Through all of this, I learned a lot about all different kinds of breast cancer and the importance of self-checking. You should be checking your breasts for anything out of the ordinary – new lumps, discoloration, redness, inverted nipples, a funky-looking mole, etc. Here is a list of five of the most effective ways to check your breasts:
Examine Your Breasts in a Mirror With Hands on Hips
Raise Arms and Examine Your Breasts
Look for Signs of Breast Fluid
Feel for Breast Lumps While Lying Down
Feel Your Breasts for Lumps While Standing or Sitting
Make your breast self-exam routine — incorporating breast exams into your every day is the best way to notice if there are any changes. Mammograms are another method of breast cancer detection which are recommended around age 40, but if you have a family history of breast cancer, talk to your doctor to see if it is an option for you. Additionally, Men can also get breast cancer. Men make up 1 out of every 100 breast cancer diagnoses, so tell your male loved ones to check their breasts as well! It is always better to be safe than sorry.
Text your loved ones and even your not loved ones and ask them when they got their last mammogram and tell them to schedule their next one! You could be saving their life.
These past seven months made me realize that nothing is guaranteed. I now spend my days telling the people that I love how much I love them. I do not settle for less than I deserve. I focus on doing what makes my soul happy — regardless of what anyone else might think. My bond with my mother has grown even stronger and I feel like I understand her in an entirely new way — I no longer see her as a superhero, but as a person with strengths and weaknesses who possesses an immense amount of knowledge. My new perspective has transformed our relationship into something high school me would have never thought to be possible.
Don’t get me wrong. Cancer sucks. It truly and deeply fucking sucks. But it has taught me that the most important thing in life is love and an appreciation for the people that mean the most.
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