Mel’s Message: Leading with Strength and Inspiring Others
January 10, 2024
Writer: Libby Zufi
Editor: Lexie Meltzer
My cousin, Melissa (Mel) Miller, was one of the brightest souls to walk this earth. Mother, wife, daughter, and friend, Mel was a ball of sunshine to anyone lucky enough to meet her. When I think about what it means to be selfless and care about everyone’s needs no matter the time or place, Mel is the definition. Her vibrant personality, creativity, and passion for life only accentuated her love for her family. I considered Mel an older sister whom I looked to for advice and guidance. I am lucky to have witnessed her as a mother, too, a role she was born to undertake for her two beautiful girls.
Just shy of two weeks ago, my beautiful cousin Mel passed away from uterine sarcoma. The pain of losing a loved one is indescribable and one that I would not wish upon anyone. She was the family’s driving force and always left a positive mark on anything she touched. Leaving behind her husband and two daughters has left a hole in the family that seems impossible to repair. Though through Mel’s passing, I think her legacy will live on through anyone who crosses her path.
Her uterine sarcoma was a beast to tackle, but wow, Mel put up a fight. She fought with style, grace, and power until the very end. She was transparent with her emotions by journaling for the entire family as a way to make everyone feel included in her journey, a trait I deeply admire and hope to resemble. Throughout Mel’s fight, I praised her strength and implemented her mindset of overcoming adversity into my daily life. Somehow, through it all, she ensured everyone else was being cared for. My family discovered that Mel left a booked calendar for her husband and children for the next two years, from the girls’ next dance recital to the mid-week playdate booked. Her pure thoughtfulness for her loved ones taught me to appreciate life’s small moments and put others before myself.
Grief is not linear and does not need to be a time of mourning - it has no strict definition or path. While I am grieving the loss of my cousin, I know that she would want others to smile when they hear her name and remember the memories made with her in happier times. In honor of Mel, I now strive to do a small act of kindness daily. Whether it is buying my friend a coffee, complimenting someone on their outfit, or volunteering my time to others, I know that it is my obligation to continue the legacy that Mel left behind - one of unwavering compassion and kindness, catered to putting a smile on someone’s face despite all odds.
I hope to transform my anger and sadness into something positive for others, just like Mel would have done. Grief is complicated, candid, and sad, yet grief can also push us to be stronger and well-connected, even under challenging circumstances. Mel’s message is clear: be kind to everyone and follow your heart. Her legacy will continue to thrive despite her absence and live on throughout her family, her girls, and our lives.
Image: Julia Bonanno
