Is Life Really “Not That Fun?”
February 5, 2024
Writer: Lily Lev
Editor: Lily Hutchinson
On a phone call with my dad a few months ago, I mentioned that I felt as if I were living in the mundane; I was stuck in a routine that didn’t bring excitement into my life. I wasn’t overly anxious or lingering in a place of sadness, I was just simply lacking joy. His response surprised me. Rather than encouraging me with an inspirational ramble, or denying what I was feeling, he simply stated: “Life just isn’t that fun.”
At first, this harsh perspective startled me and I wanted to refute the idea. In my head, fun equals happiness, and consistent happiness is the goal in life. I was wrong for two reasons. First, consistent happiness is not achieved by anybody nor is it sustainable. Grief, stress, and other ‘negative’ emotions are equally as important. And second, I had been focusing so much of my energy on having fun rather than letting myself experience it organically. I would go out to dinner with friends and tell myself, You must have a great time. In reality, I was only putting pressure on myself and creating unnecessary anxiety for outings that would have actually been enjoyable without that unruly voice in my head!
It’s not that life isn’t fun, but rather, it doesn’t take drastic measures to incorporate fun and joy. On that phone call with my dad, I was complaining about the lack of activities in Ann Arbor. He asked me what I would like to do in another place, and I had no response. I was glorifying something that didn’t exist, and while doing that, diminishing my ability to be present. Instead of looking for external sources of entertainment, I have focused more on shifting my internal dialogue, because joy can start with a positive mindset. I started looking for new ways to add value to my current activities, as well as incorporating new ideas into my routine to help me be more present.
Since this discussion with my dad, I have started a notes page on my phone where I jot down times when I am experiencing joy to the fullest and am present in the moment. Reflecting on these times while writing this article, I noticed a trend. They were all events, activities, or moments that just reading back to myself, were nothing special. Some of these moments were even things I had done 100 times before, but it was how I felt during them and my perspective going in that made them memorable. One in particular stood out to me. This summer, I worked at a sleepaway camp with friends who I had grown up going to the camp with. We went out to dinner one night at a restaurant that happened to border Pennsylvania and New York. We ate tacos, distressed from the hectic camp life, and enjoyed each other's company. The dinner was nice, but no different than any other. Afterward, however, we spent an hour running across the Pennsylvania/New York border, making a stop-action film. There was no planning involved, but we were in silly moods, and it felt great to release that energy. This goes to show that I can’t force fun or happiness, but rather, accept whatever I’m feeling: joy, excitement, bliss...
That being said, intentionally incorporating ‘fun’ into my life–especially when I’m busy and tend to dismiss it–has naturally made me calmer, more optimistic, and appreciative of life. Below are a few ideas for small activities that boost my mood and shake up my routine:
Set aside 15 minutes of each day for a self-care activity, whether that be reading, a dance party, or calling a friend from home
Go to a playground
Learn a new skill (ie. handstand)
Host a painting night for friends
Journal about things that brought you joy as a child and incorporate those into your routine
Fun isn’t about creating the most unique activity or dumping tons of money into something; it’s running on the side of the road with your best friends and enjoying ice cream after a long day. It’s about appreciating where you are in the present moment without expectations–and incorporating small behaviors to boost your mood.
