So We Broke Up For College...What Now?
February 7, 2024
Writer: Miranda Jefferds
Editor: Talya Appelbaum
When I entered my high school junior year and began my relationship, the thought of what would happen when we went to college never crossed my mind. College felt distant, mature, and even unrealistic at that time. Yet, the day eventually came, and I got into the car without any sense of self. What do I do now? As I reached that last August day before heading off for my freshman year of college, I couldn't comprehend what it would be like to live without that same person by my side. Mutually breaking up for college didn't seem like the first step on the shining precipice of a new journey. It felt like plummeting into a dark scary hole, during one of the most uncertain times of my life. The person I had leaned on, confided in, and ran to throughout the changes of my formative years was now stepping out of my life.
As I drove away, I wondered where the person I had evolved into over the past years would go. That relationship molded my emotional maturity, capacity to love, and viewpoint of the world in ways I can't explain with words. I wondered if I would be able to be someone, or even myself, without him. I wondered if that pit in my stomach would ever disappear.
Looking back at myself from six months ago, I wish I could hold her tight and tell her that the seemingly scariest, loneliest upcoming portion of her life ended up allowing her to find not only herself, but her best friends. Although my sadness and grief are not completely gone, I am blessed to have experienced what love really is. I have not only become a better person, but I have realized my worth, understanding that I will not settle because I have been shown what is necessary for a healthy relationship to thrive.
One misconception about a breakup is that you must strip yourself of everything that ties you to that person; I am here to say the exact opposite. Take the lessons they taught you, the love they showed you, and the experiences they gave you, and turn it all into something to be appreciated. Reclaim those things as a part of you, and say them as proudly.
It is much easier said than done, but I’ve learned to become self-assured and confident in being romantically alone. I’ve learned to channel love into my friends, my passions, and even into the egregiously cold weather outside. I’ve learned to unglue myself from my phone and do things entirely for myself. I’ve learned that finding your authentic self not only assures happiness but makes any future relationships (high school love or not) stronger and healthier. Newfound independence doesn’t mean trading every part of who you are and who the relationship made you; it means revitalizing, reshaping, and redefining the true, whole, single you. Because let’s face it: after a breakup, the sun still shines, the birds still sing, and you are still that amazing person!
So...we broke up for college...what now? What happens now is that maybe it’s not the same anymore, maybe it’s better. What happens now is that you enter a completely new, beautiful chapter of your life. What happens now is that you find peace in being YOU.
