Holiday Takeaways
January 6, 2023
Writer: Haley Brettschneider
Editor: Ava Tomlin
I imagined going home: bickering with my sister, dealing with revived high school drama, and answering hundreds of questions from my parents. It all sounded miserable and only reinforced my mindset of disliking the holidays. I was never much of a holiday girl until I came to college. To some, I was kind of the Thanksgiving grinch.
I hated the awkward interactions with distant relatives and the side hugs and brief small talk that followed. The previous holiday season, my mothers cousin congratulated me on my commitment to Michigan State, so I’ve been holding a little bit of a grudge.
However, by the time I was set to head home from Michigan for both Thanksgiving and winter break, my outlook on the holiday season had completely changed. I longed to go home and reunite with my childhood home and my bulldog, Greta. I yearned for the sense of comfort that could only be found in my own room, along with the excitement of catching up with old friends. The miniscule things that used to bother me about each aspect of my home life no longer seemed to matter.
The family time that felt so tedious and only important to my mom during high school became my favorite part of the break. I was no longer worried about saying the wrong thing to aggravate my sister; instead, I found myself valuing her words and catching up on our college semesters (my first and her last). I appreciated the niche dynamic of family that no relationship at college could duplicate.
As time with our families and in our childhood homes becomes rarer as we get older, coming home for the holidays becomes something to love and savor. Change is anxiety-inducing and it is normal to feel nervous about leaving college and returning home, but being surrounded by those who know and love you is the best remedy.
While reflecting on my past anxiety about holidays, I realized a big portion of it can be associated with the large family reunions: the Thanksgiving dinner, the Chanukah candle lighting ceremony, or the Christmas Eve meal. I especially despise the moment during Thanksgiving dinner, when all twenty members of the family go around the table and say what they’re thankful for. I felt that it promoted a sense of toxic gratitude. Forcing someone to dig deep to try to come up with countless things they’re thankful for can be extremely problematic — you feel pressured to list the right things, enough things, but not too many. The answer to the question is simple, though: it is more than enough just to be grateful for family and the precious time we have together.
These large gatherings can be stressful but thinking about the presence of the great people around you can alleviate a bit of the anxiety. Assuring yourself that everyone there loves you and just wants to see you smile helps lessen the pressure of the events. I find myself quiet at these family reunions, but that is my internal way of enjoying and appreciating those near me.
Whether a holiday person or not, we can all appreciate the comfort of our family members and the support they offer. So go spend that extra hour on the couch with your parents, you’ll miss it when it’s gone.
Image: Molly Fischman
