Stopping the Train
November 11, 2024
Writer: Eve Collon
Editor: Megan Lennemann
Written for my superhero of a mom- the one that magically recognizes when the train is coming before it is even on my horizon.
Growing up with intrusive anxious thoughts drained me more often than not. One simple hypothetical thought had the potential to send me into a deep spiral. This spiral typically led to hyperventilation, and ultimately, resulted in a loss of consciousness. In the chance that I did pass out from an anxious episode, I would regain awareness to my mom preparing to call the paramedics. This idea embarrassed me more than anything, but I wanted to avoid an ambulance trip at all costs. There were two apparent ways to combat this internal conflict: physically, a bystander, commonly my supportive mom, could call 911 to assist, or mentally, I could stop the train. This quickly became my favorite method of mental redirection.
A runaway train carries impeccable momentum. With a mind of its own, it will destroy anything in its path. The longer the train travels at an uncontrollable rate, the power heightens, and the starting point becomes a speck of dust in the distance, growing harder and harder to see.
My mom took the time to explain this metaphor in a way that resonated with me. She made it clear that once the train starts moving, you are growing further from where you originally got on. If you stay on the train for a long time, the journey back is more challenging and requires more time.
In a state of panic, stopping the train didn’t always feel possible. This is because the train had already gained that impeccable momentum. Anything that got in its way became wrapped up by its velocity. Realizing how to slow the wheels on the powerful vessel was a learning curve. Originally, stopping the train meant I would physically leave an anxious environment and go for a walk. This redirection transitioned into a strict mental method of control which I can apply at any place at any time.
With more practice, I began to understand not only how to slow the wheels, but how to fully halt them. I have learned that once the wheels are stopped, it is increasingly challenging for them to find the energy to begin again. Even if they do start again, reaching a dangerous speed is unlikely, which gives you time to better equip yourself with the necessary tools.
Now when I am faced with a difficult situation and I feel my emotions begin to negatively affect me, I am able to keep myself in the present thanks to this technique. I have yet to perfect it, but even the slightest practice of this tactic can ease severe unwanted thoughts. This idea has helped me in ways I originally didn’t imagine possible. If it could pull me from dark places, I can only hope it will do the same for others. So, next time you find yourself in a dark place, try to stop the train before you end up too far from the station.
