My View from Washtenaw
October 11, 2023
Author: Lily Lev
Editor: Grace Dietlein
When I looked out the window of my freshman-year dorm, I was greeted by a subtle mist of sprinklers and rock debris noisily tossed around by bulldozers. I lived on the first floor of West Quad, bordering a construction site, in a small all-girls hall. I crossed the diag multiple times a day to get to my classes and other activities and grew accustomed to my campus routine.
One year later, my perspective on the campus has completely shifted. I now live in a sorority house with 70 girls, I exchanged the diag for “the rock,” I watch kids from Angell Elementary play tag at recess through my window, and I started shaping my college experience to better suit me.
Just as my physical journey through campus has changed, so has my view on my college experience. Growing up, I was always an extremely independent person, I loved time alone, and I never felt pressured to go along with what others were doing if it didn’t suit me. But entering college, being faced with a new environment and unfamiliar faces, I found myself needing social connection. In the midst of constantly trying to make plans, joining clubs, working out, and staying on top of my work, I quickly lost sight of what made me truly content.
And yet, I never felt as if I was doing enough. I was always comparing my life to the lives of others: If someone was going out, I had to accompany them. But, if someone decided to have a night-in, that must be the better decision for me too. I got so caught up in creating a euphoric college bubble for myself that I lost touch with who I wanted to be. Growing up in a culture with endless social media content boasting that college is the best four years of your life, I put immense pressure on myself going into my freshman year to constantly seem and be happy. After all, everyone on Instagram seems to be living their best lives, right?
Transitioning into sophomore year, I am armed with a new mindset. If I don’t have a 4.00 GPA, I will still find a job. If I don’t go out every night, I will still have friends. If I go out when someone is staying in, that’s okay too. I will be the most authentic version of myself when I am making choices for myself rather than doing what I think I should be doing or what aligns with the stereotypical “college experience.”
Sophomore year has made me realize that nobody’s college experience is going to be identical to anybody else’s, and that’s exactly how it should be. Freshman year is about trying new things and putting yourself out there. It’s also okay to come back to your identity and acknowledge who you want to be and how you want to live your life. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self to care less about what others think (because in reality, nobody is paying attention; they are too focused on themselves), and put energy into what brings me joy. Nobody is going to have everything figured out in freshman year, and not in sophomore year either, but that is precisely what college is about; allowing yourself to grow, adapt, and reshape your identity.
Image: Jules Bonanno
