Don’t Let a Slip Become a Slide
October 16, 2022
Author: Morgan Millstein
Editor: Ava Tomlin
For many of us early-2000’s Nickelodeon kids, The name Sam Puckett evokes laughter and the faint memory of a blonde-haired girl doing what she does best–being unapologetically herself. As a child, iCarly was my comfort show, and Puckett, played by Jennette McCurdy, was undoubtedly my favorite character. I always admired Sam for her ability to stand up for herself, make her friends laugh, and devour a box of chicken wings without breaking a sweat. I had no idea that behind the scenes, as revealed in her empowering memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, McCurdy was being mentally abused by her mother, suffering from both an eating disorder and an alcohol addiction, and juggling one toxic relationship after the next.
Jennette McCurdy’s mother encouraged her to get into acting when she was only six years old. All McCurdy cared about was making her mother–her best friend– happy. Her mother had breast cancer and McCurdy shouldered the huge burden of ensuring her mother’s happiness. So, if her becoming an actress would bring her mom joy, so be it. Early on in McCurdy’s career, her mother decided that her next step to achieve fame would be “calorie restriction.” McCurdy began to restrict her eating and weighed herself six times a day. Soon, McCurdy landed a role on iCarly where she achieved the fame her mother had always dreamed of. To cope with the stress of acting, McCurdy became dependent on alcohol and spiraled into an uncontrollable addiction. Meanwhile, McCurdy was also granted a starring role n a spin-off series, Sam and Cat. One day during filming, McCurdy got a call from her father who told her to come home immediately because her mother was dying. After her mother passed, McCurdy initially felt feelings of hopelessness, depression, and immense grief, but as time progressed–and McCurdy no longer had to fulfill the pressure of pleasing her mother– she decided it was time to turn her life around.
McCurdy discovered therapy and decided that it would be best for her mental health to quit acting; however, McCurdy’s recovery was not an easy experience. She cut off contact with her therapist, relapsed repeatedly, and depended heavily on purging. She continued to push forward with her recovery despite these setbacks and finally was able to love herself, quit alcohol, and have a healthy relationship with her body.
McCurdy describes, “SLIPS ARE TOTALLY NORMAL. When you have a slip, it’s just that. A slip. It doesn’t define you. It doesn’t make you a failure. The most important thing is that you don’t let that slip become a slide.”
As a sophomore at the University of Michigan, I often feel overwhelmed in this constantly changing college environment. As someone who has dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember, I have picked up on some ways to ground myself and prevent my slips from becoming slides:
Look to mantras: When I feel upset or stressed, I remind myself, “Be where your feet are” and “Zoom out.” Another mantra I love is “I am not my yesterday.” And thanks to McCurdy, I now will remind myself, “Don’t let a slip become a slide.”
Don’t let your thoughts define you: My therapist once explained to me the concept of thought defusion. This idea consists of acknowledging the thoughts you are having, realizing that thoughts are just in your head, and then taking a step back to detach yourself from the rumination. I think of thoughts and emotions as waves and often will visualize the ideas flowing amongst the current, but always passing after time.
Dedicate time for yourself: Each week, I dedicate my Wednesdays to walking to downtown Ann Arbor where I go to my favorite bookstore and do work as I devour a macaron at a French coffee shop across the street. This day serves as a reset for me, and the consistency of this routine is grounding.
McCurdy’s journey is empowering, inspiring, and relatable. It has opened my eyes to the reality that everyone has challenges in life, even the people you would least expect. And even if you do slip once in a while, find reassurance in knowing it doesn’t mean it will become a slide.
Image: Molly Gold
