“Drama Queen” Or Just Someone Who Cares?
January 9, 2024
Writer: Chloe Pehote
Editor: Abigail Peacock
It is the spring semester of my senior year and only three things in the whole wide world seem to matter to seventeen-year-old me: a prom date, my graduation ceremony, and the announcement of senior superlatives. Two weeks from now, the entire student body and our families will gather in the auditorium amidst the stuffy mid-May heat for a mock award ceremony, in which student presenters and administrators will haphazardly reveal exactly what everyone who has known you your entire life really thinks about you—under the guise of “harmless fun”, of course.
Anticipation was through the roof for insecure girls like myself, and as I leaned over the shoulders of my classmates, furiously attempting to catch a glimpse at the crumpled paper listing the nominees in their respective categories, I felt the pit in my stomach swell; despite landing consideration for the title that I really cared about, my excitement was overshadowed by a nomination for both “Most Opinionated” and “Drama Queen.” In hindsight, the “Most Opinionated” nomination was probably deserved and was not something that I was necessarily ashamed of then or now. Yet, by accompanying the nomination for “Drama Queen,” it felt like another jab at a not-so-subtle insult and an extension of the running punchline that had followed me my whole life: “bossy,” “loud,” “The Shrew”, blah, blah, blah.
In my mind, I had spent the entirety of my highschool career fulfilling the duties of plenty of other more “flattering” roles and yet at the culmination of four years this is what I was going to be remembered for—I was humiliated and anxious. In the moment, I was assured by overseers of the event that it wasn’t an insult; it was because “I was constantly in the know”, “I cared so deeply about everything”, and “everything was a big deal to me,” rather than because I was constantly involved in drama, and my anxieties were temporarily and begrudgingly setted. However, while that may have comforted me then, an older and less naive me proposes an alternative viewpoint: by being passionate, aware, and an individual (especially a woman) who cares deeply about the world around them you are inherently perceived as “dramatic”, and this is, in fact, the issue itself.
I have spent a large portion of my life consumed by anxiety and an even larger portion of it allowing people to walk over me. As I have grown into maturity, I have found that by taking control of the situations that make me feel uncertain, standing up for myself and my friends, confronting the issues that make me uncomfortable rather than sitting with my feelings, and taking situations from a more serious perspective, I am better able to manage my anxiety and display a more authentic version of my character. While this is a less passive approach to life than some favor, it is my approach to life, and has encouraged me to become the leader, friend, and student that I am today.
So while I may enjoy gossip just as much as the average teenage girl, I know that I am not the most dramatic person in the room because of it. Rather, I am considered “dramatic” because of the degree to which I feel, the degree to which I care, and the degree to which I lead. So while the insult has evolved from “bossy” to “dramatic” as I have gotten older, I now know that both are synonymous with society’s insecurity regarding vocal, assertive women. I no longer let my fear of this perception prevent me from being myself: someone who demonstrates great care, great character, and great confidence.
I encourage people to embrace emotion and sentiment in all domains of life, to feel strongly about even the things that seem insignificant, to vocalize your emotions and stand up for those of whom you love, and to lead without fear of judgment for being “too opinionated”. It is so much better to feel too much than to feel absolutely nothing at all—even if that does make you a “drama queen” to those who fail to understand.
