Think You Have A Plan

December 6, 2023

The other day as I was scrolling through TikTok, instead of completing the variety of assignments that fill the pages of my planner, I scrolled past a post that caught me very much by surprise. The post was a collection of quotes, which is quite common for me to see on my “For You” page. My feed is constantly filled with inspiring, nostalgic, thought-provoking quotes; most of the time, these sorts of posts lead me down a road of introspective journaling, and this was no different. As I flipped through the quotes in this post, there was one that I immediately knew was just wrong. While I can’t remember the exact phrasing of the quote that shook me so deeply, I do remember the message that I took away. This quote, in all her lexical glory, contradicted one of the most pivotal lessons that I had learned in childhood by telling me that the worst thing I could do in my 20s was to have a plan.

Was I legitimately being told to not have a plan? As a little girl, I can recall conversations with my mom where she would remind me to plan my day in advance so that I don’t forget anything I have to do. Conversations like this have not changed much over time. As a senior in college, I am now asked about how I am planning for my future after graduation. The urge to look into the abyss of the future, hoping to see a perfect version of myself remains. But, this habit of mine, of ruminating on the future and the career that I have planned for myself, often travels with a bit of apprehension.

Since my first AP Psychology course in my senior year of high school, I knew that I wanted to be a psychologist. I absorbed all of the slides on Sigmund Freud and his mistakes, and Pavlov and his dogs. I found myself picturing dendritic trees and imagining the millions of conversations that the neurons were having across my cerebral cortex. At barely 18 years old, I thought I had my life figured out - I had yet to realize how wrong I was.

This TikTok post, as fleeting as a 30-second video can be, completely shifted my mentality on planning ahead. When I finally digested those words and sifted through my blatant confusion, I realized that this quote was right. As an individual with their whole life ahead of them, the worst thing I could do is restrict myself to only the possibilities that I can predict.

This post made me realize that my comfort zone was far too small. I had been limiting myself to the things that I knew I enjoyed, instead of diving head-first into something I didn’t understand. The dangerous thing about comfort zones is that -shocker!- they’re comfortable. When we are in our safe space, we can predict what could happen next, so there’s nothing to be afraid of. I think that there’s a lot to be said about how your comfort zone isn’t always the best benchmark. It’s uncomfortable, stepping into the unknown. When you aren’t used to being confident, confidence feels like arrogance. When you are used to being passive, being assertive feels like aggression. When you aren’t used to getting your needs met, prioritizing yourself feels selfish. Sometimes, there’s danger in being too comfortable. Sometimes, we need to let go of the things we have planned and do the things that make us happy.

I think I initially found it difficult to believe in this quote because I was too comfortable with the idea of the future that I had planned for myself. What I didn’t know was how I would make space for the other things that I enjoy. Would I have time to write? Would I have time to draw? Would I have time to participate in the things that make me who I am? I became comfortable with the concept of giving up the things I love in the pursuit of a career that I haven’t even begun.

Have ideas, and have goals, but don’t confine your capabilities to what you have been told your options are. Think outside the box. Discover what you love and find a way to make it sustainable. Leave your comfort zone and make room for growth. Embrace the possibility that maybe not everything can be planned, and let the present moment guide you to where you need to be. You are here for a reason, and you will walk your path of life for a reason, just give that reason the opportunity to find you.

Image: Julia Bonnano

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