January 17, 2022

I was recently asked if I believed in soulmates. What an ironic time to be asked that question, as the first year of college is a time of encountering many new people and building all kinds of new relationships. My response was, “I think it depends”—a desperate attempt to avoid giving an actual answer. However, this question inspired me to look into the idea of soulmates and to begin investigating the ways in which I have fallen in love with people throughout my own life.

The concept of soulmates is best summarized in Plato’s text, “Symposium,” in which he quotes a Greek poet: “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves” (“The Greek Myth”).

When the Greeks realized that we would encounter many people whom we would love, all the while searching for our other half, they created different words for those different types of love (“The 8 Ancient”):

• Eros, which is a romantic and passionate love, often driven by lust and a desire for pleasure.

• Philia is a love based in affection and friendship, in which physical attraction is not necessarily present.

• Agape is a love that extends beyond ourselves and is found in the empathy that we have for strangers and/or the belief that we have in a higher power.

• Storge is a familial love that we have for family members and those who we consider family. It is loyal and protective.

• Mania is an obsessive and toxic love.

• Ludus is a playful type of love that we have for someone to whom we have a romantic and affectionate attraction. 

• Pragma is the enduring love that lasts and grows into a strong and healthy relationship.

• Philautia is our own love for ourselves. 

I have experienced many of these eight types of love that the Greeks identified. I have philia for my friends, storge for my family, and philautia for myself. After reflecting on the definitions of these words, I discovered that there are specific moments in each of my past relationships that can be labeled as one of these types of love. 

Philia: Standing under my umbrella, my eyes strained to see my high school’s football players on the field through the bright field lights that seemed to reflect onto puddles on the ground. He went and bought two styrofoam cups of hot chocolate from the concession stand. He was next to me attempting to hold both of our hot chocolates, along with an umbrella. I laughed at his ridiculousness. The brief moments that I could never forget made me love him.

Eros: In our first conversation he said “Thank you, my queen,” to which I responded, “You’re welcome, peasant.” I accidentally fell in love with his sky blue eyes and his confidence and his sarcasm. He was unpredictable in the most predictable way possible. In the end, all of the possibilities of what could be were kept in a glass jar on a table, until he bumped into it and it shattered.

Philautia: While tying the back of my teal blue velvet dress into a bow, I had an internal debate over what color of lipstick to wear. Eventually, I determined that the burgundy red best contrasted the blue shade of my dress, the paleness of my skin, and the dark brown color of my hair. That day I made memories that will always make me smile. I felt beautiful and I loved myself. 

Ludus: We spent the day studying for tests and being in each other’s company. That night, as we laid in bed, he explained to me that it’s okay to feel like your life is going in circles because, like the galaxies, you may be returning to the same point in orbit but you are still moving through space and time. That’s when I loved him.

These Greek words for love seem to overlap with the theory that there are different types of soulmates. There are three main types of soulmates that people believe in: non-romantic soulmates, which are similar to the philia type of love, connecting soulmates, which are romantic partners who stay in your life for some time but not forever, and then twin flames, which overlap with pragma, the love that lasts (Weiss). 

I then went on to ask some of my friends the exact same question that I was asked: do you believe in soulmates? 

Al brought up the fact that people have different definitions for soulmates - “my impression of a soulmate is that there is one person for one person, so no, I do not believe that that exists. But, if it is you and another person, you meet and you are compatible enough so you’re soulmates, then yes.” Then, Josie mentioned, “too many people claim that soulmates exist, but there are so many people around the world.” Both Al and Josie believe that you can have more than one soulmate because, if you didn’t, the odds of you meeting your one person are miniscule. Al also discussed the way that our past experiences can impact the way that we view our compatibility with someone. For example, if someone gets out of a bad relationship, their next relationship may seem better than it truly is.  

When talking with Julianna about how she views soulmates, she said that she believes a soulmate is someone who has “ideal compatibility with you.” Furthermore, she thinks that “eventually you would or could know that someone is your soulmate, even if it is not right off the bat.”

Although people tend to view love in different ways, there seem to still be overlapping beliefs involving the existence and types of soulmates. In a world where we have control over so many aspects of our lives, which do you believe impacts whether or not you will be united with your soulmate: your own choices or destiny? 

Works Cited

“The Greek Myth of Soulmates, When Humans Became Humans.” GHD, GHD, 23 Nov.

2020, https://www.greecehighdefinition.com/blog/the-greek-myth-of-

soulmates. 

“The 8 Ancient Greek Words for Love.” Greek City Times, 14 Feb. 2020,

https://greekcitytimes.com/2020/02/14/the-8-ancient-greek-words-for-love/. 

Weiss, Suzannah. “The 3 Types of Soulmates - and How to Know Which One You're

With.” Bustle, Bustle, 12 Feb. 2019,

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-3-types-of-soulmates-how-to-know-which-

ne-youre-with-15919891.